Yeah wonder why? Change of seasons? power outage? gyms reopened?

Tatu had been in Afghanistan for longer than he could remember.

The old legends say, the Gods buried certain titans, giants, and primordial ancient spirits under volcanos, or under parts of the ocean floor, or raised jungles over top of them.

These places may have human servants, but no human ever really owns them, or holds them, or rules them.

Their natures are not likely to change much over the lifetime of a thousand humans born, or died.

The humans who are raised there, like the Romani, may adopt the customs or even the language of the tourists who take turns saying they own those lands, or those peoples.

As the pets, and servants, of those lands, just like the lands they serve, they too, are of an ancient, unchanging nature.

And the natures of those lands, the eldritch terrors they contain, and the humans they raise to serve them are plain enough.

But "rational" and "modern" men and women always think they know better.

And they rarely realize, they were called there, as blood sacrifices, by those very places, and ancient terrors.

It was Tatu's job, to make sure people thought these stories were just faerie tales, or myths.

Not even told well enough to scare children.

Tatu, would go into the camps of whatever foreign power was called into those areas, and drink their beer with them.

And Tatu, would tell them, it would be ridiculous to think that there are areas that never change, raise humans to serve them that do not change across their generations, and endlessly summon would be foreign powers to their areas, as blood sacrifices.

Nah, that would be crazy, Tatu would tell them, as he drank their beers, and hit them up for cigarettes, especially chesterfields when he could get them.

Even crazier than all the conspiracies on the Internet nowadays, he would add.

It's not like the Aztecs, Mayans, Persians, Chinese, Egyptians etc all built pyramids that ran red with human blood, and had legends of great floods, and dragons, and Gods throwing down and imprisoning great evils into remote places of the Earth.

It's not like all those ancient civilizations had bizarrely accurate astronomical calendars, either.

Xibalba? Just a myth.

Sorbek as a crocodile god from Ancient Egypt? Myth.

It's not like all ancient civilizations had those same myths.

Humans en masse, are not regularly called by those eldritch terrors as blood sacrifices.

Just look at the Holy Land.

That place, and the great temple pyramid it contained, are peaceful enough, Tatu would tell them.

And Tatu would wait.

Wait for the great lady, whom no one could tell, was she Native American? Was she Spanish? Lebanese?

But, everyone agreed she was beautiful beyond compare.

And when she danced, a great snake, like a dragon writhed around her body, and anyone who saw that dance, felt a great heat, as if from a fire.

And no one who ever saw that dance, lived to tell the tale.

Except for poor Tatu, who was doomed to never escape his fate of luring countless foreign powers, and their people, to their doom.

I was technically in Finland for like 5 minutes in Northern Norway. So I purchased this magnet in celebration in Sweden. lol

I never saw any actual proof that I was in Finland except being told I was now in Finland so maybe this is true.

Happy 40th Birthday (belated) Tatu!! Wishing you many more years of health, wealth and happiness.

agreed, happiest of birthdays Tatu! Just saw on Instagram. The BIG 40.

At 47 I can attest it all gets better sir.

Happy Birthday, Tatu!
I hope your birthday, was unreal.

Best wishes from across the seas!

Thank you Dave, John, William & Vince! :)

To celebrate the occasion, I had the genius idea of hosting an open mat (with beer & acaii bowls of course) in which I was to do a single 40-minute shark tank sparring round with an ever-changing fresh opponent. Well... 25 people showed up so it was impromptu upgraded to 50 mins in order to allow everybody a 2-minute slot. No rest breaks. Starting with the one single white belt present, then up the ranks from there.

Here's a very compact highlight of some fun moments with the 5 final bosses (out of 25!). I have no clue where I even am in the end of the video.

https://www.youtube.com/w[...]dYcxrQ7v8w

Very nice Tatu!

well done. and weirdly enough, not even stalking you lol, Youtube showed me this video before when it was uploaded in my BJJ feed. Happy Birthday and great job!

Tatu has been MIA on here lately.
Maybe we do live in a simulation.

He has been mostly eating according to his Instagram. :D

Tatu can be invoked, summoned, and re-substantiated, with the proper offerings of beer, and food.

Congrats to Tatu on the gold at the Euros.

Congrats indeed.
Of course, if you catch Tatu, he has to give you that gold, or grant you a wish.

Word on the street is he never showed up for the podium, fueling the rumors that he does not exist.

I think he's a secret agent. Kinda like a ghost, maybe CIA, MI6, maybe some other 3 letter secret agency.

Thank you Dave & William! Was old men's division, but that's what I am. :)

Blasphemy! There even is my podium pic on the IBJJF page:

Sorry to rehash an old topic here, but I just discovered this thread and I’m now wondering: If Tatu doesn’t exist, then who beat me at IBJJF Master World in 2017?

Did you throw salt on your opponent, or sew his heels to his shadow?
That's Tatu, for you.

TATU² = −1

Haven't seen Tatu on here in awhile.
I see him on insta but not on here very much.

He's like the matrix of the beltchecker relm

That's the problem, entirely.
Once you observe Tatu,
Tatu's state changes.
The trick is to close your eyes,
Nearly.
And only have the possibility of seeing him,
Without definitely seeing him.
it also helps to forget to fall,
Always have a towel handy,
And Don't Panic.
Salty peanuts and alcohol,
Also come in handy, when they do.

They say the Finnish people are the happiest people on Earth.
But we all know...
It's because, they eat people.
Cannibals.
Especially, at this time of year.
Right now, Tatu,
and every other Elf,
Are checking their list,
To see, who has been Naughty.

In the quiet, forested village of Helsinki, Finland, there were whispers of a man known only as Tatu. His presence was as ethereal and mysterious as the northern lights that danced in the winter sky. They said he moved like a ghost, silent and swift, his steps barely leaving a trace in the snow.

Tatu's legend was larger than life. Tales of his exploits spread far beyond the village, reaching the ears of those in distant cities. He was a master of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, his brown belt a symbol of his unparalleled skill and dedication. Stories were told of how he could subdue the strongest opponents with the grace of a dancer and the precision of a surgeon.

It was said that Tatu could vanish into the night, leaving no sign of his passage. He was known to appear only when the village was in dire need, always at the right place, at the right time. His motives were unknown, but his actions always brought peace and safety to those he protected.

One winter's night, as the village slept under a blanket of snow, a group of bandits crept in, seeking to steal the village's cherished relics. The moonlight cast eerie shadows on the ground, and the air was thick with tension. Just as the bandits reached the village center, a figure emerged from the darkness. It was Tatu.

With a series of fluid, almost supernatural movements, he disarmed the bandits, using his mastery of Jiu-Jitsu to immobilize them effortlessly. The village awoke to find their treasures safe and the bandits tied up, shivering in the cold.

Tatu had once again become the village's unseen guardian. As dawn broke, he vanished into the mist, leaving the villagers in awe of his ghostly presence.

Years passed, and the legend of Tatu grew. Though he was seldom seen, his legend endured, a beacon of hope and protection. To this day, in the quiet corners of Helsinki, stories of Tatu's valor and mystery are still shared around flickering campfires, inspiring new generations with the tale of the man who was like a ghost.

Heard Tatu's been dealing with a lot of shit lately...

Yeah, you can never win against that opponent when it comes to their shit. It just never ends man lol

This begs the question... if a person who doesn't exist has a kid, is the kid's shit real?