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Skilled Black Belts who were nefarious criminals

6 year(s) ago • 37575 views • 177 replies

Jorgen Matsi
Jorgen Matsi
Black belt 2nd degreeVerified1809 forum posts18235/1000
6 year(s) ago
IMO there are a few ways how to respond to these types of accusations if you want to leave the impression of not actually doing anything wrong and DLR definitely didn't reply in any of those ways...
William Murphy
William Murphy
Black belt 5th degreeVerified2144 forum posts26055/1000
6 year(s) ago
IMO there are a few ways how to respond to these types of accusations if you want to leave the impression of not actually doing anything wrong and DLR definitely didn't reply in any of those ways...
People who are sexually assaulted,

And people who are falsely accused of sexual assault,

have both been violated in horrible ways,

and often fumble verbally, or deer in the headlights, or even refuse to talk about the matter, or react with rage, or grief.

And this gets more complicated when there are spouses involved,

lawyers involved, and potential legal actions, whether civil or criminal, or both.

Admittedly this is not a situation of sexual assault,

but similar dynamics of how people might react still apply.

Edited 6 year(s) ago
William Murphy
William Murphy
Black belt 5th degreeVerified2144 forum posts26055/1000
6 year(s) ago
I have no idea of this is true but I heard that Megaton Diaz was discovered by the Gracie's because he would lure men back to a place under the quise of having sex with him but would then beat them up with his judo and rob them. Once again, no idea of that's true at all.
If you have no idea if it is true, then why spread what from your validation perspective, is idle gossip?
Timothy Holman
Timothy Holman
Black belt 3rd degreeVerified18 forum posts3015/1000
6 year(s) ago
Just curious if anyone else could shed some light on the situation. I'd be interested to know if it's TRUE or not.
William Murphy
William Murphy
Black belt 5th degreeVerified2144 forum posts26055/1000
6 year(s) ago
Just curious if anyone else could shed some light on the situation. I'd be interested to know if it's TRUE or not.
You are a black belt.

Visit, or if you cannot, call, Megaton, and ask him.

Because you are a black belt, he will almost certainly give you an audience of some length.

Then investigate more broadly.
Timothy Holman
Timothy Holman
Black belt 3rd degreeVerified18 forum posts3015/1000
6 year(s) ago
It will be interesting to see if the situation occurred as Claudia says, or it was a consensual affair with buyers remorse by one or both parties, or it did not happen and was a publicity stunt / extortion attempt. Claudia made a serious allegation, the WhatsApp messages will clarify which of the three scenarios actually occurred, And being that Claudia claims she has the WhatsApp messages, she should bring them forward. In fact, I would argue that at this point she has a duty to. And if the matter goes to court, the court will likely compel her to. In which case either of them guilty of lying is going to get their ass handed to them.
This makes me think of what happened with Louie Ck. Granted, I feel it's a bit of an extreme but he was with a 30 something year old woman, told her exactly what was going to happen, it happened and then she had the "buyer remorse" and then it severely damaged his career and I think that's absolutely insane. A woman, regrets her decision and it cost another human so much. It's crazy how much damage even a accusation of sexual abuse can cause. I am a teacher and if I were ever to be accused itd mean the end of my career.
Jorgen Matsi
Jorgen Matsi
Black belt 2nd degreeVerified1809 forum posts18235/1000
6 year(s) ago
Just curious if anyone else could shed some light on the situation. I'd be interested to know if it's TRUE or not.
Well. In regards of these types of past situations we will never REALLY know what is TRUTH.

And while I can understand your concerns from you as a teacher's perspective, the comments about "buyers remorse" (and even using that term) are unwarranted. There's (just as in Louis CKs case) the power dynamic to be considered.
William Murphy
William Murphy
Black belt 5th degreeVerified2144 forum posts26055/1000
6 year(s) ago
Well. In regards of these types of past situations we will never REALLY know what is TRUTH. And while I can understand your concerns from you as a teacher's perspective, the comments about 'buyers remorse' (and even using that term) are unwarranted. There's (just as in Louis CKs case) the power dynamic to be considered.
Ah, Jorgen, you seem to be a good person.

And you seek to advocate for victims, who may be at the wrong end of a power dynamic.

And who could argue with that.

But, then I shall take your coin,

as shiny, and brightly polished as the one side of it was that you champion,

and bend it in time and space to a 3rd dimension,

because we live in 3 dimensions, not 2, and sometimes seemingly more than 3.

When false accusations occur, the accused is the victim, in every sense of the word.

And buyers remorse is indeed often a source of false accusations.

Now, I have made it clear, that even if Beltcheckers is a type of popularity contest,

I have no interest in being that popular.

And further, I seek, as you to advocate for the victims and survivors in these cases.

Both those that are the victims and survivors of assaults, and those that are the victims and survivors of false accusations.

Let us all remember, me first, that I am fool.

Who can only rely on one truth, that I myself am ignorant and my cognitive processes in many cases are unreliable.

Edited 6 year(s) ago
Jorgen Matsi
Jorgen Matsi
Black belt 2nd degreeVerified1809 forum posts18235/1000
6 year(s) ago
I'll gladly take the bait because I think there's ideas and viewpoints to be shared :)

I think the overall pendulum has been swung to one direction for so long that it has to swing back in the other direction at least a little bit for a sensible balance to occur. If the side with traditionally less power now has more - it also makes the other side think twice, can't act without thinking of the potential consequences first.

In general the advice "to the average man" that "Don't do anything (unless explicitly consensual) to a woman that you wouldn't want another man do to you in prison." seems to be a pretty decent one ;)
Slideyfoot [jun]
Slideyfoot [jun]
Black belt 1st degreeVerified1901 forum posts3830/1000
6 year(s) ago
Depending on how this plays out, might have to reintroduce the name 'guarda pudim'...
I'll be going with 'outside hook' when I teach the position in future, seems the most descriptive. I normally have to explain why it's called DLR anyway, weird name for a beginner to get used to.
William Murphy
William Murphy
Black belt 5th degreeVerified2144 forum posts26055/1000
6 year(s) ago
Why would Claudia come up with this story? Claudia is a number one champion in the world rankings, she doesn't need publicity.
Speculations about motives without an admission of motive or proof of motive or witness testimony.

are just as hearsay as speculating about guilt without an admission of guilt or proof, or witness testimony.

I do not assume De La Riva's nor Claudia's guilt without proof or an admission of guilt.
R. David Gonzalez
R. David GonzalezOP
Black belt 4th degreeVerified4799 forum posts35020/1000
6 year(s) ago
Speculations about motives without an admission of motive or proof of motive or witness testimony. are just as hearsay as speculating about guilt without an admission of guilt or proof, or witness testimony. I do not assume De La Riva's nor Claudia's guilt without proof or an admission of guilt.
Listening to the discussion you had with Emily Kwok, Josh Leduc and Kevin Gallagher. Very good talk so far.
Massimiliano Silvestro
Massimiliano Silvestro
Black belt 2nd degreeVerified20 forum posts2820/1000
6 year(s) ago
'Don't do anything (unless explicitly consensual) to a woman that you wouldn't want another man do to you in prison.' seems to be a pretty decent one ;)
:)
William Murphy
William Murphy
Black belt 5th degreeVerified2144 forum posts26055/1000
6 year(s) ago
I'll gladly take the bait because I think there's ideas and viewpoints to be shared :) I think the overall pendulum has been swung to one direction for so long that it has to swing back in the other direction at least a little bit for a sensible balance to occur. If the side with traditionally less power now has more - it also makes the other side think twice, can't act without thinking of the potential consequences first. In general the advice 'to the average man' that 'Don't do anything (unless explicitly consensual) to a woman that you wouldn't want another man do to you in prison.' seems to be a pretty decent one ;)
More than 1/4 of the male black belts on this website have been sexually assaulted.

If we had as many female black belts as we have males, we could say with confidence that more than 1/3 of the female black belts on this forum had been sexually assaulted.

Sexual assault is bad.

False accusations are bad.

And many black belts are unaware, that more than 1/4 of the males on their mats, including their peer male black belts, were sexually assaulted.

Some are even unaware that more than 1/3 of the women on their mats have been sexually assaulted.

However, many of the black belts on this website will also decide guilt or innocence of a person in a situation involving sexual accusations on the same popularity metrics and same popular biases that drive the election of grade school class presidents and Homecoming Kings and Queens.

Even more disturbingly, many of the black belts on this website still use the word "loyalty" in their daily practice of the culture they create and sustain in their gyms.

And the way the word "loyalty" is used, crowds out the real virtues we should encourage, namely "honesty, fairness, kindness, and a good work ethic."

I do not want any of my students to have "loyalty" to me, but I would be delighted if they were "honest, fair, kind, and have a good work ethic."

In our community, we do not have to start with addressing more general issues between men and women first,

because in our case, we create, encourage, and perpetuate a lot the worst behaviours regarding inappropriate sex behaviors, violence, abuse, and cover ups,

by creating cultish dumbassery mindsets that make use of the word "loyalty" as a cornerstone of the brainwashing and cult mechanics.

Edited 6 year(s) ago
William Murphy
William Murphy
Black belt 5th degreeVerified2144 forum posts26055/1000
6 year(s) ago
Personally, I would prefer to universally condemn the practice of sports coaches or employers or university professors ever dating or having sexual relations with their students,

but I am aware that sometimes they do result in serious, and sincere relationships and marriages.

However, I still wish people did not treat the dojo as their disco.

Since a universal prohibition is not likely.

It's time to bring back the Tea video:

https://www.youtube.com/w[...]Qbei5JGiT8
R. David Gonzalez
R. David GonzalezOP
Black belt 4th degreeVerified4799 forum posts35020/1000
6 year(s) ago
More than 1/4 of the male black belts on this website have been sexually assaulted. If we had as many female black belts as we have males, we could say with confidence that more than 1/3 of the female black belts on this forum had been sexually assaulted. Sexual assault is bad. False accusations are bad. And many black belts are unaware, that more than 1/4 of the males on their mats, including their peer male black belts, were sexually assaulted. Some are even unaware that more than 1/3 of the women on their mats have been sexually assaulted. However, many of the black belts on this website will also decide guilt or innocence of a person in a situation involving sexual accusations on the same popularity metrics and same popular biases that drive the election of grade school class presidents and Homecoming Kings and Queens. Even more disturbingly, many of the black belts on this website still use the word 'loyalty' in their daily practice of the culture they create and sustain in their gyms. And the way the word 'loyalty' is used, crowds out the real virtues we should encourage, namely 'honesty, fairness, kindness, and a good work ethic.' I do not want any of my students to have 'loyalty' to me, but I would be delighted if they were 'honest, fair, kind, and have a good work ethic.' In our community, we do not have to address more general issues between men and women, because in our case, we create, encourage, and perpetuate a lot the worst behaviours regarding inappropriate sex behaviors, violence, abuse, and cover ups, by creating cultish dumbassery mindsets that make use of the word 'loyalty' as a cornerstone of the brainwashing and cult mechanics.
Well said
Charles Anzalone
Charles Anzalone
Black belt 4th degreeVerified55 forum posts6910/1000
6 year(s) ago
Why would Claudia come up with this story? Claudia is a number one champion in the world rankings, she doesn't need publicity.
Why would she wait 5 years to say anything? Why would she train that same day, stay on the team and accept the black belt from him? Lots of whys.
Christian Graugart
Christian Graugart
Black belt 4th degreeVerified4349 forum posts40905/1000
6 year(s) ago
Why would she wait 5 years to say anything? Why would she train that same day, stay on the team and accept the black belt from him? Lots of whys.
People who have been sexually assaulted often don't tell anyone their entire life. For many because they feel guilty and are afraid that people will think "it was their own fault". Abuse by someone you trust can be incredibly traumatic and not immediately easy to process and tell anyone about. I know more than a few people who have been unfortunate to experience that.
Edited 6 year(s) ago
Charles Anzalone
Charles Anzalone
Black belt 4th degreeVerified55 forum posts6910/1000
6 year(s) ago
People who have been sexually assaulted often don't tell anyone their entire life. For many because they feel guilty and are afraid that people will think 'it was their own fault'. Abuse by someone you trust can be incredibly traumatic and not immediately easy to process and tell anyone about. I know more than a few people who have been unfortunate to experience that.
She didn’t just “not tell”, she continued to train with him for several years and got her black belt from him.
Christian Graugart
Christian Graugart
Black belt 4th degreeVerified4349 forum posts40905/1000
6 year(s) ago
She didn’t just “not tell”, she continued to train with him for several years and got her black belt from him.
Trauma by abuse of trust 101.

Not sure how the law is in the US or Brazil, but there is a reason why it is usually highly illegal for a person of trust/power to have a sexual relationship with an "inferior" (not sure about the correct english word here).
Edited 6 year(s) ago
R. David Gonzalez
R. David GonzalezOP
Black belt 4th degreeVerified4799 forum posts35020/1000
6 year(s) ago
Trauma by abuse of trust 101. Not sure how the law is in the US or Brazil, but there is a reason why it is usually highly illegal for a person of trust/power to have a sexual relationship with an 'inferior' (not sure about the correct english word here).
subordinate is the word you are looking for.... ;-)
Alexander King-Zhang
Alexander King-Zhang
Purple beltVerified661 forum posts2070/400
6 year(s) ago
Do Val's video interview where she tells the story appears credible... Or she is delirious, vengeful and a very good actress/liar. https://youtu.be/YSayInaGWc4?t=3005 DLR's rebuttal is mostly listing his compliments in jiujitsu. Apparently DLR is taking legal action and Do Val has at least the messages she is referring to saved, so probably we will hear more of this. Hard to believe Do Val would be making this up in front of a camera. (But will be difficult for her to produce any solid evidence either tho.) I've met both, and liked them, so this is extremely unfortunate news.
Where did you see that she had the messages saved? Not disputing it or anything, just I hadn't seen that claim and it's pretty critical.
Charles Anzalone
Charles Anzalone
Black belt 4th degreeVerified55 forum posts6910/1000
6 year(s) ago
Trauma by abuse of trust 101. Not sure how the law is in the US or Brazil, but there is a reason why it is usually highly illegal for a person of trust/power to have a sexual relationship with an 'inferior' (not sure about the correct english word here).
She was so traumatized by the abuse that she remained at the academy? Is that what you’re saying?
Christian Graugart
Christian Graugart
Black belt 4th degreeVerified4349 forum posts40905/1000
6 year(s) ago
She was so traumatized by the abuse that she remained at the academy? Is that what you’re saying?
That's not what I said but yes, that could be the case. Trauma by abuse of trust will often make the abused feel guilty and shameful, afraid to confront their abuser for years (or life) or tell anyone what has happened. But honestly, I thought this was common knowledge in 2020.

I'm gonna leave it at this. In my life I've been too close to people with these experiences and it makes me sick to talk and think too much about these things. But that's just me.

Best wishes for your instructor to get out of this, should he turn out to be innocent.
Edited 6 year(s) ago
William Murphy
William Murphy
Black belt 5th degreeVerified2144 forum posts26055/1000
6 year(s) ago
She was so traumatized by the abuse that she remained at the academy? Is that what you’re saying?
Yes, we see that type of behavior all the time in sexual abuse cases.

Especially where cult dynamics or sports coaching or familial ties or employment / business entanglements are also present.

Edited 6 year(s) ago
William Murphy
William Murphy
Black belt 5th degreeVerified2144 forum posts26055/1000
6 year(s) ago
Where did you see that she had the messages saved? Not disputing it or anything, just I hadn't seen that claim and it's pretty critical.
"Eu tenho todas as conversas de whatsapp"

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