Ha - for a start, I'm super jealous. That's awesome that your wife trains! You should be super happy with that, regardless of how often she is on the mats. :D

In terms of motivating her, how much does she train at the moment? Does she actually want to train more than that?

LoL don't be jealous. She has finally caught the jiu jitsu bug. She's asking me all kinds of questions and watching every possible video on YouTube. But once she gets some and tired she would rather stay home. Of course I will say something like " gotta push through!" That shuts her off immediately, but it would definitely motivate me.

Yeah, it sounds like she is a different kind of person to you, when it comes to training, so what works for you probably isn't going to work for her. :D

Rather than going all drill sergeant or motivational gym coach, a better approach might be things like making more connections at the gym. Does she enjoy the social side of BJJ? I know that with my students (and indeed me), they are often motivated to show up to training because they want to hang out with their friends. Another route that certainly works for me (but may not work as well for your wife, I don't know her) is going to open mat too. That has a way more relaxed vibe, you can explore technique on your own time, there's no pressure to constantly be rolling.

Based on what you've written, I suspect your wife possibly approaches training more like I do: something to do for fun, bit of socialising, fitness, enjoying the exploration of technique. I would not react well to the "push through, feel the burn!" type approach either. ;)

Let her win once in a while.

I started teaching mine when covid hit.
Now she doesn't respect the tap & tries to put me to sleep.

Be careful what you wish for.

https://www.instagram.com[...]ln8evzqsw9

Make it fun and she will want to train.

brown belt w/ blue belt fiancé here

My expert advice is don't do it, get another coach to be the hardass
you be there as the 'good cop' that provides positive reinforcement only

eventually she may or may not find her own reasons to train more consistently/harder (mine did).
but the more you try to "motivate" her to train harder, the more she'll start resenting and disliking it.