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I do not plan to promote my sons. Let others do it, if my sons efforts make them feel compelled to do so.
5 year(s) ago • 1364 views • 21 replies
WMBlack belt 5th degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
I do not plan to promote my sons. Let others do it, if my sons efforts make them feel compelled to do so.
This is controversial.
Discuss if you like.
I have never promoted my sons.
I teach them.
But, i suspect, if I am disciplined, my sons will be better for tips I give them, but not my pen.
Let them earn their own stripes, belts, and win their own battles.
This is controversial.
Discuss if you like.
I have never promoted my sons.
I teach them.
But, i suspect, if I am disciplined, my sons will be better for tips I give them, but not my pen.
Let them earn their own stripes, belts, and win their own battles.
MGPurple beltVerified
5 year(s) ago
Royce explained that one of the reasons he wears the navy belt is that since his father passed away, he doesn’t want to be promoted by someone else. What if your sons only want to be promoted by you?
JPBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
My daughter trains at a Gracie Barra school. I don't have any intention of ever promoting her. It's easier on both of us to seperate dad from coach.
RDBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
I've promoted both my sons since they were little and don't give a fk what others do or don't do or think for that matter. Different strokes for different folks.
Keep on keeping on.
Keep on keeping on.
SLBrown beltVerified
5 year(s) ago
I will take great honour in one day promoting my children (should they choose to train that is).
They will be treated no different to anyone else. Good or bad.
They will be treated no different to anyone else. Good or bad.
CGBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
They could be the first ever BJJ practitioners to be promoted solely on Beltchecker by the people in the forum? :D
WMBlack belt 5th degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
They could be the first ever BJJ practitioners to be promoted solely on Beltchecker by the people in the forum? :D
There is already a Yuki Nakai, and he is very good at being Yuki Nakai.
BMBlack belt 1st degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
They could be the first ever BJJ practitioners to be promoted solely on Beltchecker by the people in the forum? :D
*following*
JBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
Let them earn their own stripes, belts, and win their own battles.
All your students do that. How are your sons any different?
If you don't think you can be impartial, I get it. But it's hard to be impartial about students, period.
If you don't think you can be impartial, I get it. But it's hard to be impartial about students, period.
NTBlack belt 1st degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
My daughter trains at a Gracie Barra school. I don't have any intention of ever promoting her. It's easier on both of us to seperate dad from coach.
This is my reason as well. Due to covid restrictions in ny (as well as a sense of safety), my girls have been training under me, however, I dislike being their primary coach because I want to separate father from coach. I have struggled at times maintaining patience coaching them, especially since it’s at our house.
I also place some value in lineage (of course assuming instruction quality is also high) and i don’t have the teaching or competition experience that others have, especially my daughter’s current coach (JT Torres). That being said I like adding bits of my own philosophy into their bjj journey but I want to mostly want to be their father in this journey
I also place some value in lineage (of course assuming instruction quality is also high) and i don’t have the teaching or competition experience that others have, especially my daughter’s current coach (JT Torres). That being said I like adding bits of my own philosophy into their bjj journey but I want to mostly want to be their father in this journey
PDBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
Interesting thought process.. I have noticed myself that with my son especially but also with others the more invested I am in them the tougher I am at judging their skills..
All my guys know I actually don't care about belts and don't like to give them at all.. Honestly my son would rather be a white belt under me than a Black under someone else and I have several other students who have actually stated this. Part of the thing with me as I do not make money off teaching it is kind of my way or the highway so I have no exterior motivation to give a belt and to me it is more of are you ready to compete at that level
All my guys know I actually don't care about belts and don't like to give them at all.. Honestly my son would rather be a white belt under me than a Black under someone else and I have several other students who have actually stated this. Part of the thing with me as I do not make money off teaching it is kind of my way or the highway so I have no exterior motivation to give a belt and to me it is more of are you ready to compete at that level
DBlack beltVerified
5 year(s) ago
There is already a Yuki Nakai, and he is very good at being Yuki Nakai.
Huh? I don't understand this ... care to elaborate?
MGPurple beltVerified
WMBlack belt 5th degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
Huh? I don't understand this ... care to elaborate?
Yuki Nakai went to the Mundials to compete and was promoted directly to black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu by the Confederation of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu in order to do so.
Edited 5 year(s) ago
WMBlack belt 5th degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
Interesting thought process.. I have noticed myself that with my son especially but also with others the more invested I am in them the tougher I am at judging their skills.. All my guys know I actually don't care about belts and don't like to give them at all.. Honestly my son would rather be a white belt under me than a Black under someone else and I have several other students who have actually stated this. Part of the thing with me as I do not make money off teaching it is kind of my way or the highway so I have no exterior motivation to give a belt and to me it is more of are you ready to compete at that level
I may my change my mind, and perhaps tie the belt around their waist when some other black belts recommend them to black belt, if I am alive to see it.
Or maybe promote them in Jiu-Jitsu but have others promote them in Judo or vice-versa, as they continue training.
On yet a third hand, competition, should they choose to compete in adult belt categories, is a very legitimate third party validation, and upon that validation I should perhaps have no objections.
However, it seems to me that other than making sure that they learn the basics of how to defend themselves, and being available to them to give them advice, if they wish to train seriously enough to earn belts, it will be up to them.
I will gladly encourage them.
But there is a thin line between encouragement, and being available, and being every parent that is annoying from the sidelines, trying to live vicariously through their children.
Just because I am and was a knucklehead mat rat does not mean that they have to be.
I might be pleased if they decide to have common lifelong hobbies with me, but it will be up to them, ultimately to choose the activities they like, especially with each passing year, as they approach adulthood, and then become adults.
They are their own people, and may be different than I, especially with regards to hobbies, and preferred pursuits.
Or maybe promote them in Jiu-Jitsu but have others promote them in Judo or vice-versa, as they continue training.
On yet a third hand, competition, should they choose to compete in adult belt categories, is a very legitimate third party validation, and upon that validation I should perhaps have no objections.
However, it seems to me that other than making sure that they learn the basics of how to defend themselves, and being available to them to give them advice, if they wish to train seriously enough to earn belts, it will be up to them.
I will gladly encourage them.
But there is a thin line between encouragement, and being available, and being every parent that is annoying from the sidelines, trying to live vicariously through their children.
Just because I am and was a knucklehead mat rat does not mean that they have to be.
I might be pleased if they decide to have common lifelong hobbies with me, but it will be up to them, ultimately to choose the activities they like, especially with each passing year, as they approach adulthood, and then become adults.
They are their own people, and may be different than I, especially with regards to hobbies, and preferred pursuits.
PDBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
I may my change my mind, and perhaps tie the belt around their waist when some other black belts recommend them to black belt, if I am alive to see it. Or maybe promote them in Jiu-Jitsu but have others promote them in Judo or vice-versa, as they continue training. On yet a third hand, competition, should they choose to compete in adult belt categories, is a very legitimate third party validation, and upon that validation I should perhaps have no objections. However, it seems to me that other than making sure that they learn the basics of how to defend themselves, and being available to them to give them advice, if they wish to train seriously enough to earn belts, it will be up to them. I will gladly encourage them. But there is a thin line between encouragement, and being available, and being every parent that is annoying from the sidelines, trying to live vicariously through their children. Just because I am and was a knucklehead mat rat does not mean that they have to be. I might be pleased if they decide to have common lifelong hobbies with me, but it will be up to them, ultimately to choose the activities they like, especially with each passing year, as they approach adulthood, and then become adults. They are their own people, and may be different than I, especially with regards to hobbies, and preferred pursuits.
I understand. My oldest does not train and if you ask him he will say he is a lover not a fighter and excelled at other sports especially Basketball.. He is going to law school now and I have always been that dad who would be at his games and coach if they needed it but I never pushed him to do it. I find sports teach important lessons but also feel the desire needs to be yours and know as a former athlete yourself it needs to be because YOU want it. I was a little sad when he decided to give up basketball after he first season in college but I was actually happy that he was focusing on academics
My youngest trained with me a lot and fought in Kickboxing and had a lot of grappling matches as a teen.. His senior year he discovered girls and lost interest in training. He went to Emery Riddle and majored in Space Physics and started to get interested in training again and I discouraged it telling him with the workload of a dual major he should focus on that.. May be the best thing I did for him because he graduated and came back to training again with a new found drive and passion. My issue is to be truthful is he wants to be my successor in the arts as the Kachin style passed from my Great grandfather on my grandmothers side, to my grandfather, to me and he has come to view the arts as a family heritage he wants to be part of.. I have yet to give him any rank I just tell him hat level to compete at and will probably only rank him in BJJ if he decides he wants to do IBJJF events.
I do understand as a parent it is tough to separate the father and the coach/teacher
My youngest trained with me a lot and fought in Kickboxing and had a lot of grappling matches as a teen.. His senior year he discovered girls and lost interest in training. He went to Emery Riddle and majored in Space Physics and started to get interested in training again and I discouraged it telling him with the workload of a dual major he should focus on that.. May be the best thing I did for him because he graduated and came back to training again with a new found drive and passion. My issue is to be truthful is he wants to be my successor in the arts as the Kachin style passed from my Great grandfather on my grandmothers side, to my grandfather, to me and he has come to view the arts as a family heritage he wants to be part of.. I have yet to give him any rank I just tell him hat level to compete at and will probably only rank him in BJJ if he decides he wants to do IBJJF events.
I do understand as a parent it is tough to separate the father and the coach/teacher
RDBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
Just because I am and was a knucklehead mat rat does not mean that they have to be.
100% agree. I am like that with my sons in this regard. They can choose to do what they like. In the end it is their life to live.
For now my youngest only trains once in awhile. My oldest trains with me regularly and if I have a visiting blackbelt etc in my home he will train with them.
If the visitor is a knucklehead that only knows one speed, he does not train with my sons. The way I came up in this was you had to roll and smash everyone even if that person was known to "accidentally" hurt everyone they trained with. I don't force them to do anything.
For now my youngest only trains once in awhile. My oldest trains with me regularly and if I have a visiting blackbelt etc in my home he will train with them.
If the visitor is a knucklehead that only knows one speed, he does not train with my sons. The way I came up in this was you had to roll and smash everyone even if that person was known to "accidentally" hurt everyone they trained with. I don't force them to do anything.
RDBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
I do understand as a parent it is tough to separate the father and the coach/teacher
The question I have is how do I get my kids to quit laughing at me while we train. Lol They think I'm hilarious even when I'm serious.
I would not trade it though. I love that laughing and will miss it when they go on their own.
I would not trade it though. I love that laughing and will miss it when they go on their own.
HCBrown beltVerified
5 year(s) ago
I imagine promoting my sons to start a type of family tradition and history. Rite of passage etc. One of the main reasons why I train, so I can one day promote my sons after beating the shit out of them for years.
PDBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
The question I have is how do I get my kids to quit laughing at me while we train. Lol They think I'm hilarious even when I'm serious. I would not trade it though. I love that laughing and will miss it when they go on their own.
easy for me I am a sarcastic asshole and never serious I don't think most of my students come for the training I think it's to hear the crazy shit that comes out my mouth
RDBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
easy for me I am a sarcastic asshole and never serious I don't think most of my students come for the training I think it's to hear the crazy shit that comes out my mouth
This is my problem exactly. I have Jersey way of speaking and they laugh their bags off.
BSBlack belt 1st degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
No kids yet and I only help out with one class a week but I agree. I don't think I could ever promote one of my kids (let alone coach them). I don't want to be THAT parent who puts undue pressure on my kids to feel like they need to succeed at BJJ (or whatever my preferred hobby/sport is) to be validated.
