Forgive me if this isn’t the place for this. This is a cross post from Reddit. I’m posting here in case someone struggling with mental health during the holiday sees it. Cheers. Black Belt introduction Forgive me.. this is a little long. Last night I received my BJJ black belt from Ray Huxen after 15 years and 5 months. I started BJJ in 2006. I had just graduated high school and I was coming off my second year of high school wrestling. I was a pretty crappy wrestler, only a few JV wins over the 2 years that I was competing. I didn’t care about it or take it seriously. After I graduated, all of the friends I hung out with started getting into hard drugs. I decided I needed a new group of friends and also something to keep me out of trouble. I talked about wrestling at the local community college but the coach told me I was welcome to work out with the team but I’d probably never see a single match. At work I was talking to a coworker about the UFC and he told me his friend was a pro fighter who owned a fight team in Vineland, New Jersey. His name was Al Buck. I drove to Al’s a few times a week learning some basic moves but I still wasn’t taking it seriously. Then I found a gym called KPOZ martial arts. It was owned by a blue belt who also had a few Muay Thai fights under his belt. It was at KPOZ that I started training in the gi and for the first time in my life I found that I was pretty good at it. I did some gi and nogi tournaments, won a few white belt divisions then took my first MMA smoker at Daddis Fight Camps in Cherry Hill, NJ. I lost by triangle in the first round and also broke my finger in the process. Around this time I met my first true black belt coach. His name is Daniel Tavares and I credit him for a ton of my early development. I received my blue belt from him in September of 2008. Shortly after that I decided I wanted to focus on MMA so I made the transition to training at Daddis MMA in Philadelphia/Cherry Hill. There I joined a really hardcore fight team and after learned how to actually fight. I had a few MMA fights with some mixed success. I also started coaching BJJ, MMA and Muay Thai. I learned that I was a pretty good coach. I received my purple belt in 2013 from Brad Daddis. In an bone-headed move on my part I ended up breaking my arm in a roll that caused me to take a few months off from training and coaching. Due to some business conflicts I decided to leave Daddis in 2014. It was at this point in my life that I became aware that I suffered from mental illness. I had my first bout with Bipolar 1 that left me manic and homeless living on the streets of Los Angeles. After a few trips to the hospital and a 2 week stint in solitary at the county jail, my mental health stabilized and I moved back in home with my parents. I gained 60 pounds in 60 days due to the medication and stopped giving a shit about anything. I fell into a 6 month depression. After laying in bed for 6 months straight I took a job at Comcast as a call center customer service agent and started training once a week with Rob Mudrak at Next Gen MMA in West Deptford, NJ. I was a purple belt that was getting tapped by blue and white belts. I was pretty down on myself. One night during an 11 hour call center shift I stumbled onto a job posting for a kickboxing instructor on Craigslist. - [x] I emailed the guy and found out he was a local MMA promoter who had the idea of running a fight gym in the same arena. I taught 1 kickboxing class and ended up inheriting the very small fight team that he had created. I suddenly found myself managing and coaching a team of amateur mma and kickboxing fighters. I hired someone to make me a logo and Hands Up Studios was born. I spent a year and half building that gym and training fighters. In this time I was able to get back in shape, lose some of the weight and I was competitive again. I received my brown belt in 2017 from Rob Mudrak. Then I had my second manic episode and ended up in the hospital. At the same time that happened I lost my hand shake lease with the owner of the sports arena I was renting from. Overnight I lost my gym and my sanity. It was devastating. I took a job selling gym memberships for a corporate globe-gym. A few months into that I was approached by some former teammates at Daddis to see if I wanted to open a gym with them. I jumped at it and Blitz Athletics was born. I took them on an 8-0 undefeated start in amateur sanctioned mma/kickboxing competition and even took a “pro” bjj fight for F2W. I got guillotined in what is probably some type of record. I parted ways with Blitz Athletics and then partnered up with Ray Huxen in January of 2020. I had received my first, second degree and third on my brown belt from him and he offered me a place to coach kickboxing. We started Broad Street Kickboxing and were off to a great start when covid hit and threw us into lockdown. That’s when I had my third and most recent bipolar episode. This time I lost my apartment and girlfriend but Ray stood beside me while I recovered. Now I am stable, finally medicated with a good job in the mortgage industry earning a good salary and with great health benefits (it’s clear I need that in my life). My kickboxing club just had its first person compete in sanctioned competition and we have more people set to debut later this year. This black belt is a huge deal to me because Jiu Jitsu probably kept me from taking my own life a few times. Whenever I was truly truly down I could pull up an old mma fight or bjj video and I would have a little hope. That would cause me to come back and push myself to try again. Sorry for the novel but I feel like it’s an important part of my black belt journey. The only advice I have for you is “if you’re going through hell, keep going.”

Forgive me if this isn’t the place for this. This is a cross post from Reddit. I’m posting here in case someone struggling with mental health during the holiday sees it. Cheers. Black Belt introduction Forgive me.. this is a little long. Last night I received my BJJ black belt from Ray Huxen after 15 years and 5 months. I started BJJ in 2006. I had just graduated high school and I was coming off my second year of high school wrestling. I was a pretty crappy wrestler, only a few JV wins over the 2 years that I was competing. I didn’t care about it or take it seriously. After I graduated, all of the friends I hung out with started getting into hard drugs. I decided I needed a new group of friends and also something to keep me out of trouble. I talked about wrestling at the local community college but the coach told me I was welcome to work out with the team but I’d probably never see a single match. At work I was talking to a coworker about the UFC and he told me his friend was a pro fighter who owned a fight team in Vineland, New Jersey. His name was Al Buck. I drove to Al’s a few times a week learning some basic moves but I still wasn’t taking it seriously. Then I found a gym called KPOZ martial arts. It was owned by a blue belt who also had a few Muay Thai fights under his belt. It was at KPOZ that I started training in the gi and for the first time in my life I found that I was pretty good at it. I did some gi and nogi tournaments, won a few white belt divisions then took my first MMA smoker at Daddis Fight Camps in Cherry Hill, NJ. I lost by triangle in the first round and also broke my finger in the process. Around this time I met my first true black belt coach. His name is Daniel Tavares and I credit him for a ton of my early development. I received my blue belt from him in September of 2008. Shortly after that I decided I wanted to focus on MMA so I made the transition to training at Daddis MMA in Philadelphia/Cherry Hill. There I joined a really hardcore fight team and after learned how to actually fight. I had a few MMA fights with some mixed success. I also started coaching BJJ, MMA and Muay Thai. I learned that I was a pretty good coach. I received my purple belt in 2013 from Brad Daddis. In an bone-headed move on my part I ended up breaking my arm in a roll that caused me to take a few months off from training and coaching. Due to some business conflicts I decided to leave Daddis in 2014. It was at this point in my life that I became aware that I suffered from mental illness. I had my first bout with Bipolar 1 that left me manic and homeless living on the streets of Los Angeles. After a few trips to the hospital and a 2 week stint in solitary at the county jail, my mental health stabilized and I moved back in home with my parents. I gained 60 pounds in 60 days due to the medication and stopped giving a shit about anything. I fell into a 6 month depression. After laying in bed for 6 months straight I took a job at Comcast as a call center customer service agent and started training once a week with Rob Mudrak at Next Gen MMA in West Deptford, NJ. I was a purple belt that was getting tapped by blue and white belts. I was pretty down on myself. One night during an 11 hour call center shift I stumbled onto a job posting for a kickboxing instructor on Craigslist. - [x] I emailed the guy and found out he was a local MMA promoter who had the idea of running a fight gym in the same arena. I taught 1 kickboxing class and ended up inheriting the very small fight team that he had created. I suddenly found myself managing and coaching a team of amateur mma and kickboxing fighters. I hired someone to make me a logo and Hands Up Studios was born. I spent a year and half building that gym and training fighters. In this time I was able to get back in shape, lose some of the weight and I was competitive again. I received my brown belt in 2017 from Rob Mudrak. Then I had my second manic episode and ended up in the hospital. At the same time that happened I lost my hand shake lease with the owner of the sports arena I was renting from. Overnight I lost my gym and my sanity. It was devastating. I took a job selling gym memberships for a corporate globe-gym. A few months into that I was approached by some former teammates at Daddis to see if I wanted to open a gym with them. I jumped at it and Blitz Athletics was born. I took them on an 8-0 undefeated start in amateur sanctioned mma/kickboxing competition and even took a “pro” bjj fight for F2W. I got guillotined in what is probably some type of record. I parted ways with Blitz Athletics and then partnered up with Ray Huxen in January of 2020. I had received my first, second degree and third on my brown belt from him and he offered me a place to coach kickboxing. We started Broad Street Kickboxing and were off to a great start when covid hit and threw us into lockdown. That’s when I had my third and most recent bipolar episode. This time I lost my apartment and girlfriend but Ray stood beside me while I recovered. Now I am stable, finally medicated with a good job in the mortgage industry earning a good salary and with great health benefits (it’s clear I need that in my life). My kickboxing club just had its first person compete in sanctioned competition and we have more people set to debut later this year. This black belt is a huge deal to me because Jiu Jitsu probably kept me from taking my own life a few times. Whenever I was truly truly down I could pull up an old mma fight or bjj video and I would have a little hope. That would cause me to come back and push myself to try again. Sorry for the novel but I feel like it’s an important part of my black belt journey. The only advice I have for you is “if you’re going through hell, keep going.”

This black belt is a huge deal to me because Jiu Jitsu probably kept me from taking my own life a few times.