I think the answer to this question is goal dependent. What is your purpose for training? Is it competition, self defense, personal development, or just a workout that’s not as boring as running?

I feel that training hard will check all those boxes off. If I train hard I’ll lose weight, I’ll get myself conditioned for a competition, and it will give me the confidence to effectively defend myself.

How are you defining hard and passively for yourself?

Train smart. You can train both hard and passive. You need a combination of hard rolls and slow methodical rolls to improve in this sport, be it for fun or competition focused.

Just my opinion.

When I get up and I’m tired I’m training hard.

Are you in this for the long run? If you are, you should definitely train that in mind. Tap early, tap often. If you're not preparing for competition, you don't need to train very aggressively. It's a self defense martial art.

If you are a competitor, then you should train aggressively. Having an offensive game means your opponent has more to deal with. This doesn't mean that you have to go full blast all the time, it just means you need to be more active with your efforts during rolling. And don't get me wrong, actual hard rolling is needed too. In my experience as a coach, best long-term results are gained when you have dedicated sessions for rolling hard and you should have 1-2 days of rest between these sessions. You can still keep training, just keep the intensity lower.

If you compete then you shouldn't train passive. I think working on a passing game and learning to link passes is very important. The better you get the more efficient you will be. But having a direction is very important. Playing defense will get you mauled, especially in competition. Hope this helps.

Regardless of what your goal is, you need to train in a way you enjoy and keeps you coming back to training. Literally everything else is irrelevant. If you think training is a slog and you can't wait for it to be over, then you're going to skip sessions, train sporadically and not get anywhere. Even if you're competing, it's still your hobby and the first priority is to have a good time.

I never train hard, I don't roll with anybody more than 10kg bigger, I avoid using anything liable to put me in positions at a higher risk of injury (leglocks, cranks, inverting, rubber guard, etc).

My goal is to be able to keep training until I die. Working so far, no major injuries in 20 years of grappling. Plus I'm lazy, so moving less makes me happy. :P

As others have said, it depends on why you train - if you are keen on competing, you will (in my opinion) need to have harder training sessions somewhere in your schedule.

In order to not get steamrolled at a competition you need to have rolling rounds where you are fully committed to implementing your A-game, while being properly challenged - if you find you enjoy this sort of pressure, competition is probably your thing.

You don't have to fight to the death every day, as that's simply not sustainable - but you will need planned sessions where the goal is to roll at a high level of intensity, simulating competition.

If you find it puts you off training, don't do it, and instead enjoy training for the joy it gives you!

Exactly, you have to compete a lot and cross train with guys who will push you. If not you will be behind the curve. Also the level of instruction is important.

Challenging but enjoyable rolls are my default. I occasionally incorporate harder rolls to keep that "conditioning" to that type of pace and energy because jiu-jitsu still plays a factor in my profession. However, the ratio needs to be balanced. Every roll doesn't need to be the world title match. Unfortunately, we have some people in our academy that treat every roll like their lives depend on it, and I'm not even talking just about lower belts. I'll be 37 in a week and while that's not old, I do need to start being smart. I still feel great but there's a tangible difference in recovery comparing 23 to 36. Each of us have our own reasons for being in this game, train accordingly but also allow yourself to have fun and recover.