Rules for main forums
- Be nice
- No advertisement
- No events
- No fundraisers
- No topics asking for votes
- Only posts related to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu
Strangest "Why do I have to explain this" things you guys have seen running the gym
3 year(s) ago • 5467 views • 40 replies
CBBrown beltVerified
3 year(s) ago
Okay, mostly asking to enjoy the cringe. I was wondering what sort of lack of general manners or accepted public conduct moments you've had at the gym. I'll start.
This one happened about a month ago. Training was over, everyone showered had left. I don't own the gym, but I'm one of the coaches and live nearby, so I normally tell the owner he can go home and I'll lock up. After everyone left I went to take a shower and found out, that apparently, someone showered with the shower door open and completely flooded the bathroom and changing area. I'm not joking. We basically had a river in the gym running from the bathroom to the women's changing room. And NO ONE SAID ANYTHING!!!!! It was impossible to change and leave without walking through the river, and everyone just kind of ignored it and left without saying a word. Took me almost an hour to clean up followed my and angry message in the group chat.
This one happened about a month ago. Training was over, everyone showered had left. I don't own the gym, but I'm one of the coaches and live nearby, so I normally tell the owner he can go home and I'll lock up. After everyone left I went to take a shower and found out, that apparently, someone showered with the shower door open and completely flooded the bathroom and changing area. I'm not joking. We basically had a river in the gym running from the bathroom to the women's changing room. And NO ONE SAID ANYTHING!!!!! It was impossible to change and leave without walking through the river, and everyone just kind of ignored it and left without saying a word. Took me almost an hour to clean up followed my and angry message in the group chat.
TRBlack beltVerified
3 year(s) ago
Hanging your nasty/sweaty/cheesy underpants above shover (side note: those have been there for two weeks now), along with used bloody band aids and sports tape balls in the soap tray. 🤢
RDBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
3 year(s) ago
Loaner Gi's being put back on the rack after being used.
They are explicitly told to put it in the laundry area (they are shown the damn laundry area) so they can be washed but NO, people do not listen Ever! almost without exception.
The timer is always left on and everyone just runs out of the academy.
The guys will just urinate all over the seat on the toilet.
I can go on......
/rant
For the record I do not own the academy, I teach there.
They are explicitly told to put it in the laundry area (they are shown the damn laundry area) so they can be washed but NO, people do not listen Ever! almost without exception.
The timer is always left on and everyone just runs out of the academy.
The guys will just urinate all over the seat on the toilet.
I can go on......
/rant
For the record I do not own the academy, I teach there.
Edited 3 year(s) ago
CBBrown beltVerified
3 year(s) ago
Hanging your nasty/sweaty/cheesy underpants above shover (side note: those have been there for two weeks now), along with used bloody band aids and sports tape balls in the soap tray. 🤢
Oh God yes!!!! I hate this!!! And also everyone leaving their empty Shampoo bottles in the shower instead of throwing them in the trash can or just taking home and disposing of them there!!!!! Seriously, how heavy can an empty Shampoo bottle be that you can't just put the damn trash can.
CGBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
3 year(s) ago
During stretching I had to explain to a guy that not everyone can suck their own dick
TRBlack beltVerified
3 year(s) ago
During stretching I had to explain to a guy that not everyone can suck their own dick
Did you also mention that they would if they could...?
JSPurple beltVerified
3 year(s) ago
Hanging your nasty/sweaty/cheesy underpants above shover (side note: those have been there for two weeks now), along with used bloody band aids and sports tape balls in the soap tray. 🤢
Ah yes, once I got my blue I started to either call people out (if I know who the owner is) or just putting them in the bin.
The one that surprises me the most though is having to tell people to put some shoes outside the mat area...
The one that surprises me the most though is having to tell people to put some shoes outside the mat area...
BSBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
3 year(s) ago
During stretching I had to explain to a guy that not everyone can suck their own dick
Dream crusher
PDBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
3 year(s) ago
Having to discuss basic hygiene with full grown adults
CGBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
3 year(s) ago
Having to discuss basic hygiene with full grown adults
Like bare feet in the bathroom (while probably missing on the floor and seat) before going back to the mats. Like wtf.
MGBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
3 year(s) ago
When I roll with a newbie and tap them, and they ask "How do I defend against being choked (or arm barred)?" or "How do I pass your guard?" as if one sentence will get them to blue belt.
MGBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
3 year(s) ago
We also get the occasional guy who goes crazy punching the bags and shouting with each punch when there's a class going on on the neighboring mat. (There's a thin walkway dividing the striking bag area from the main class area.) I think I find that the most irritating of all. I always have to interrupt class to explain that this is extremely disruptive to teaching.
ARBlack beltVerified
3 year(s) ago
During stretching I had to explain to a guy that not everyone can suck their own dick
I'd like to know why this explanation was necessary. Are you sure he was there for jiu jitsu?
HSBlack beltVerified
3 year(s) ago
Bandaids and water bottles/rubbish left around! As the owner I vacuum and mop and dont expect paying students to do so, but pleeeease pick up after yourself!
JMBlack belt 1st degreeVerified
3 year(s) ago
The funniest thing that has happened in my gym in a while is when a dude started sucking another dudes toes during rolling. That was hilarious.
JBlack belt 2nd degreeVerified
3 year(s) ago
I had a guy a few years ago in my college club who had trained in classical Kung Fu for a short while back home before joining our Jiu-Jitsu class. Any time I was teaching a technique, he would interrupt me to explain that his Sifu, Master Kim, would be able to counter my technique with his deadly Kung Fu. I would explain to this student why the alleged “counter” wouldn’t work and move on, but the very next technique I taught, he interrupted me again to describe how easily Master Kim would be able to counter me. I told him to invite Master Kim to join us so he could demonstrate these counters in person, but I don’t think the student passed on the invitation. I try to be patient with college students, but after a few nights of hearing about “Master Kim’s deadly Shaolin monkey style,” I’d had enough.
I was introducing the mount position and we were working on how to hold the mount, throw strikes, and take the back to set up the rear naked choke. Master Kim’s padawan interrupted me to proclaim that he could just grab my groin and immediately neutralize my mount. I explained that grabbing the groin would be a bad idea because (1) it’s hard to actually reach the tender bits on a clothed, mounted fighter, and (2) the guy on top will be punching you as hard as he can in the face while you’re trying to execute “monkey steals the peach.” Master Kim’s apprentice kept rudely insisting that the mount was worthless, so I made him a deal. I would remove my groin cup, put on a pair of boxing gloves, and mount him, after which he could grab my groin as hard as he wanted and I would punch him in the head as hard as I wanted until one of us gave up. For some reason, he declined my offer. Master Kim would have been so ashamed.
I was introducing the mount position and we were working on how to hold the mount, throw strikes, and take the back to set up the rear naked choke. Master Kim’s padawan interrupted me to proclaim that he could just grab my groin and immediately neutralize my mount. I explained that grabbing the groin would be a bad idea because (1) it’s hard to actually reach the tender bits on a clothed, mounted fighter, and (2) the guy on top will be punching you as hard as he can in the face while you’re trying to execute “monkey steals the peach.” Master Kim’s apprentice kept rudely insisting that the mount was worthless, so I made him a deal. I would remove my groin cup, put on a pair of boxing gloves, and mount him, after which he could grab my groin as hard as he wanted and I would punch him in the head as hard as I wanted until one of us gave up. For some reason, he declined my offer. Master Kim would have been so ashamed.
BSBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
3 year(s) ago
Master Kim’s deadly Shaolin monkey style
Masters Kim’s philosophical reach is quite extensive. I’ve had many of his disciples interrupt my lessons over the years.
JBlack belt 2nd degreeVerified
3 year(s) ago
Masters Kim’s philosophical reach is quite extensive. I’ve had many of his disciples interrupt my lessons over the years.
It's time to dojo storm Master Kim! :)
(Just make sure to wear your groin cup.)
(Just make sure to wear your groin cup.)
Edited 3 year(s) ago
DKBlack beltVerified
3 year(s) ago
Master Kim is merely a pseudonym for the legendary Master Ken..
He just did not want to intimidate you with his association in the deadly art of Ameri-Do-Te.
Count your blessings he did not pass on the invitation.
He just did not want to intimidate you with his association in the deadly art of Ameri-Do-Te.
Count your blessings he did not pass on the invitation.
DKBlack beltVerified
3 year(s) ago
I'd like to know why this explanation was necessary. Are you sure he was there for jiu jitsu?
It is the prerequisite to join the bjj globetrotters elite comp team.
Ultra-flexibility is a must.. 😏
Ultra-flexibility is a must.. 😏
CBBrown beltVerified
3 year(s) ago
Here's a relatively new one from me. Now a bit of background for this to make sense. I'm German, but I was born in America and lived there for a long time. So, while I'm fluent in German, I still speak with an accent. As a result, most Germans try to speak to me in English all the time despite how many times I tell them not to. This will be important later.
Anyway, I was subbing for our black belt who was sick that day. When I started class, we had a visitor come in a little late. Turns out he was an exchange student from Brazil who wanted to visit. I thought cool, but he said he didn't really speak German, so I asked the class if they would mind me explaining everything in English so he could follow along, and everyone was fine with this. So I went on and when giving the rest of the group individual corrections, I'd speak German. Now, about 20 minutes into the class, another guy walks in and just started training with everyone. I'd seen him there before, but never interacted with him, so I thought he was just a new student. Class moved on like normal, showing a technique and giving individual corrections until I got to the guy who came 20 minutes late. He immediately starts asking me questions about the technique in english. I assumed this was the usual case of people speaking in English to me, so I just told the guy (in German), "hey, I speak German, you don't have to speak in English to me." Which he then ignored and just went on speaking English. I repeated that I speak German, and he just kept going. This went on for about 5 minutes until his training partner chimed in and said, "I think he actually doesn't speak German." So I just said, sorry and corrected him in English.
Skip to the end of class, I'm tired and doing my cool down routine and this guy then comes up to me and just starts laying into me for being a racist since I tried to speak to him in German. I just answered, "Dude, you didn't tell me you don't speak German." Then he starts going on about how I was explaining in English for the group. I informed him that, had he come to class on time, he'd have known we had a visitor from Brazil who didn't speak German. He then said I was racist against Turkish people, apparently he was Turkish, for explaining in English for the Brazilian and not for him. I then spent the next 10 minutes trying to explain that I was explaining in English for him because he told me he didn't speak German. He then tried to counter this by saying that I should have known he didn't speak German because he was Turkish. Now, this makes no sense at all, as there a very large Turkish demographic in Germany. We actually had other Turkish members in that class. Hell, most of them speak better German than I do. And it just kept going on and on to the point where even the other Turkish members of the class who I train with regularly were coming to back me up.
He still comes to class sometimes, but gives me the side eye every time.
Anyway, I was subbing for our black belt who was sick that day. When I started class, we had a visitor come in a little late. Turns out he was an exchange student from Brazil who wanted to visit. I thought cool, but he said he didn't really speak German, so I asked the class if they would mind me explaining everything in English so he could follow along, and everyone was fine with this. So I went on and when giving the rest of the group individual corrections, I'd speak German. Now, about 20 minutes into the class, another guy walks in and just started training with everyone. I'd seen him there before, but never interacted with him, so I thought he was just a new student. Class moved on like normal, showing a technique and giving individual corrections until I got to the guy who came 20 minutes late. He immediately starts asking me questions about the technique in english. I assumed this was the usual case of people speaking in English to me, so I just told the guy (in German), "hey, I speak German, you don't have to speak in English to me." Which he then ignored and just went on speaking English. I repeated that I speak German, and he just kept going. This went on for about 5 minutes until his training partner chimed in and said, "I think he actually doesn't speak German." So I just said, sorry and corrected him in English.
Skip to the end of class, I'm tired and doing my cool down routine and this guy then comes up to me and just starts laying into me for being a racist since I tried to speak to him in German. I just answered, "Dude, you didn't tell me you don't speak German." Then he starts going on about how I was explaining in English for the group. I informed him that, had he come to class on time, he'd have known we had a visitor from Brazil who didn't speak German. He then said I was racist against Turkish people, apparently he was Turkish, for explaining in English for the Brazilian and not for him. I then spent the next 10 minutes trying to explain that I was explaining in English for him because he told me he didn't speak German. He then tried to counter this by saying that I should have known he didn't speak German because he was Turkish. Now, this makes no sense at all, as there a very large Turkish demographic in Germany. We actually had other Turkish members in that class. Hell, most of them speak better German than I do. And it just kept going on and on to the point where even the other Turkish members of the class who I train with regularly were coming to back me up.
He still comes to class sometimes, but gives me the side eye every time.
![Slideyfoot [jun]](userimg/5e25cf311adfd.jpg){kind=small}
SJBlack belt 1st degreeVerified
2 year(s) ago
Don't lean on the window glass while you're waiting for class to start. GLASS BREAKS UNDER THE WEIGHT OF A FULL GROWN ADULT.
I really thought that went without saying, but somebody did that earlier this year. That window had been happily sitting there for a long time, old and rubbish but in one piece. Until somebody decided leaning on it would be a good idea. One smashed window and bloody arm later, I don't think they'll be doing that again (and meh, they can't: the landlord boarded all those windows up shortly after I told him). ;)
I really thought that went without saying, but somebody did that earlier this year. That window had been happily sitting there for a long time, old and rubbish but in one piece. Until somebody decided leaning on it would be a good idea. One smashed window and bloody arm later, I don't think they'll be doing that again (and meh, they can't: the landlord boarded all those windows up shortly after I told him). ;)
JBlack belt 2nd degreeVerified
2 year(s) ago
Don't lean on the window glass while you're waiting for class to start. GLASS BREAKS UNDER THE WEIGHT OF A FULL GROWN ADULT.
Perhaps he was practicing a “pane compliance” technique? ;)
PKPurple beltVerified
2 year(s) ago
Have been teaching a basic-bjj class for the last 1,5years.
Iam kind of anxious about explaining bjj stuff, as I realize every training that I do not know anything about BJJ, but iam trying my best to boost my fellow beginners to learn the basic movements and concepts.
Anyways so we are at friday night and we are drilling the most basic kimura from the full-guard, and Iam going around and try to correct people or answer some questions....everything goes well except for that pair of whitebelt folks in the corner, where one guy - after establishing the grip - opens his guard, and puts himself into sidecontrol-bottom holding the kimura and trying to finish from there.
Iam asking him why he does that and he replies with an absolute self-confidence "Look, iam showing my partner how it's done more efficient, because that will never work how you showed us".
I imagined what my teacher would say if I re-teach my drilling partner the move of the day in the exact opposite from what he showed....but iam still staggered by some guys confidence.
Well: If you don't want to learn from me, why do you come to my class?
Iam kind of anxious about explaining bjj stuff, as I realize every training that I do not know anything about BJJ, but iam trying my best to boost my fellow beginners to learn the basic movements and concepts.
Anyways so we are at friday night and we are drilling the most basic kimura from the full-guard, and Iam going around and try to correct people or answer some questions....everything goes well except for that pair of whitebelt folks in the corner, where one guy - after establishing the grip - opens his guard, and puts himself into sidecontrol-bottom holding the kimura and trying to finish from there.
Iam asking him why he does that and he replies with an absolute self-confidence "Look, iam showing my partner how it's done more efficient, because that will never work how you showed us".
I imagined what my teacher would say if I re-teach my drilling partner the move of the day in the exact opposite from what he showed....but iam still staggered by some guys confidence.
Well: If you don't want to learn from me, why do you come to my class?
MGBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
2 year(s) ago
Have been teaching a basic-bjj class for the last 1,5years. Iam kind of anxious about explaining bjj stuff, as I realize every training that I do not know anything about BJJ, but iam trying my best to boost my fellow beginners to learn the basic movements and concepts. Anyways so we are at friday night and we are drilling the most basic kimura from the full-guard, and Iam going around and try to correct people or answer some questions....everything goes well except for that pair of whitebelt folks in the corner, where one guy - after establishing the grip - opens his guard, and puts himself into sidecontrol-bottom holding the kimura and trying to finish from there. Iam asking him why he does that and he replies with an absolute self-confidence 'Look, iam showing my partner how it's done more efficient, because that will never work how you showed us'. I imagined what my teacher would say if I re-teach my drilling partner the move of the day in the exact opposite from what he showed....but iam still staggered by some guys confidence. Well: If you don't want to learn from me, why do you come to my class?
Sadly, white belts who try to "teach" their partner things they think they know but don't is all too common. However the comment about "will never work" is pretty unforgivable (even if it were true). I often find myself explaining that some techniques work for certain body types and not for others, just as some submissions will work on some folks and not on others. It can be just as much a question of physiology and flexibility as it is technique.
RLBlue beltVerified
2 year(s) ago
basic kimura from the full-guard [..] because that will never work how you showed us
This pretty much sums up what Danaher said in "Kimura: Enter The System By John Danaher" → Vol 6 → The Great Mystery of Closed Guard Kimura.
RDBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
2 year(s) ago
Why do people insist on grabbing fingers, twisting and bending them while rolling with their teammates?
I can understand if it were a streetfight or whatever but, damn!, people have to work in the morning ffs.
I can understand if it were a streetfight or whatever but, damn!, people have to work in the morning ffs.
RLBlue beltVerified
2 year(s) ago
Why do people insist on grabbing fingers, twisting and bending them while rolling with their teammates?
For the same reason they perform any other technique from the list of IBJJF illegal techniques. They just don't know and nobody has bothered to explain. I usually say STOP and let the partner to investigate what they have in their hand and ask to adjust.
Quite similar question of mine would be why people from mount position, in a friendly roll, out of all the more intelligent options available, choose to go for the nasty punch choke so often (especially with knuckles into skull behind the ear, into jaw etc) :)
Quite similar question of mine would be why people from mount position, in a friendly roll, out of all the more intelligent options available, choose to go for the nasty punch choke so often (especially with knuckles into skull behind the ear, into jaw etc) :)
RDBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
2 year(s) ago
For the same reason they perform any other technique from the list of IBJJF illegal techniques. They just don't know and nobody has bothered to explain. I usually say STOP and let the partner to investigate what they have in their hand and ask to adjust. Quite similar question of mine would be why people from mount position, in a friendly roll, out of all the more intelligent options available, choose to go for the nasty punch choke so often (especially with knuckles into skull behind the ear, into jaw etc) :)
It's been explained ad nauseam
DKBlack beltVerified
2 year(s) ago
For the same reason they perform any other technique from the list of IBJJF illegal techniques. They just don't know and nobody has bothered to explain. I usually say STOP and let the partner to investigate what they have in their hand and ask to adjust. Quite similar question of mine would be why people from mount position, in a friendly roll, out of all the more intelligent options available, choose to go for the nasty punch choke so often (especially with knuckles into skull behind the ear, into jaw etc) :)
Or the mother's milk technique..
Of course, I encourage as many ibjjf illegal techniques as possible.
😁
Of course, I encourage as many ibjjf illegal techniques as possible.
😁
