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Mental health breakdown on the mat. Your experience?
2 year(s) ago • 4029 views • 9 replies
DBBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
2 year(s) ago
People,
Yesterday we had a new guy come in for a trial class. There was something clearly "off" about him, that went beyond the usual socially awkward, high anxiety behaviour you sometimes see with pure beginners.
I don't want to get into detail, because it wasn't funny, and the guy was clearly in a lot of anguish.
This wasn't some oddball with strange but amusing behaviour. This was a grown man having a full mental health collapse on the mat. He broke down in total hysteria.
Eventually we calmed him down somewhat, had a chat, and basically told him, this is not the right time & place for him to be at this moment. Then we sent him on his way.
It was quite unsettling for everyone there. Eventhough he was very unhinged and delusional, he didn't seem to be a risk for himself or his surroundings - so calling an ambulance or something didn't seem right.
There wasn't much else we could do. We're not mental health experts. Just jiu-jitsu nerds.
What would you have done?
Yesterday we had a new guy come in for a trial class. There was something clearly "off" about him, that went beyond the usual socially awkward, high anxiety behaviour you sometimes see with pure beginners.
I don't want to get into detail, because it wasn't funny, and the guy was clearly in a lot of anguish.
This wasn't some oddball with strange but amusing behaviour. This was a grown man having a full mental health collapse on the mat. He broke down in total hysteria.
Eventually we calmed him down somewhat, had a chat, and basically told him, this is not the right time & place for him to be at this moment. Then we sent him on his way.
It was quite unsettling for everyone there. Eventhough he was very unhinged and delusional, he didn't seem to be a risk for himself or his surroundings - so calling an ambulance or something didn't seem right.
There wasn't much else we could do. We're not mental health experts. Just jiu-jitsu nerds.
What would you have done?
Edited 2 year(s) ago
RFPurple beltVerified
2 year(s) ago
Sounds like you did a good job, even though I don't know whole story.
Maybe I would have asked if he needed any help. Or if I could help him anyway. Not right now but later, after class. Gave my number that he can call later if he wants to talk. And if I cant help him, advise him to apply for mental health services.
Maybe I would have asked if he needed any help. Or if I could help him anyway. Not right now but later, after class. Gave my number that he can call later if he wants to talk. And if I cant help him, advise him to apply for mental health services.
MRBlack beltVerified
2 year(s) ago
It sounds like you did the best one could do in that situation. I would have liked to understand what experience on the mat may have triggered it or if it was just an event that triggered on its own and it happened to be on the mat.
The reason is that for some I know that Jiu Jitsu does help with mental health. However, if he is currently working with a therapist...it may help if he can communicate in his therapy session the trigger in jiu-jitsu, which may help him in future sessions.
I agree with Riku though. Seeing if he needs someone to talk to and advising him to seek mental health services if he isn't already in any.
The reason is that for some I know that Jiu Jitsu does help with mental health. However, if he is currently working with a therapist...it may help if he can communicate in his therapy session the trigger in jiu-jitsu, which may help him in future sessions.
I agree with Riku though. Seeing if he needs someone to talk to and advising him to seek mental health services if he isn't already in any.
RDBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
2 year(s) ago
Had it happen with a young lady during a womens self defense seminar.
She had a total breakdown and was inconsolable.
After finally calming her down she finally told us why.
She was triggered by the knife (rubber knives) evasion/self defense portion.
Turned out she was a victim of a violent rape by a perp weilding a knife. Her experience was heart wrenching and enraging.
It was very eye opening to us as instructors.
We have a very different approach now.
We are very proactive in informing them of the complete course content beforehand to avoid repeating that type of situation.
She had a total breakdown and was inconsolable.
After finally calming her down she finally told us why.
She was triggered by the knife (rubber knives) evasion/self defense portion.
Turned out she was a victim of a violent rape by a perp weilding a knife. Her experience was heart wrenching and enraging.
It was very eye opening to us as instructors.
We have a very different approach now.
We are very proactive in informing them of the complete course content beforehand to avoid repeating that type of situation.
DBBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
2 year(s) ago
The guy was acting pretty erratic the moment he walked through the door, but we figured we'd allow him to try the class.
I did pair him up with the 2 meters tall / 95 kgs competition blue belt with a very mellow personality. So he wouldn't harm other beginners, and we could shut him down if he went overboard.
I'm not sure what triggered the actual collapse. We didn't let him spar, he just did some very basic cooperative drills. But I noticed he only wanted to do everything "his own" way, and was not responsive to any instruction. A big red flag was when he actually "talked back" to me, when I gave him some pointers. Basically saying: "No! This is how I do it, go away!"
I told him to either listen to me and participate in the class, or leave the mat. He apologized and said he wouldn't do it again. After that he became increasingly frantic, trying to turn all drills into full on sparring and being completely unresponsive.
Then we took him off the mat, and told him to just watch what the other people were doing and how they were conducting themselves. He broke down a little bit after that.
He couldn't articulate why he was so upset. Just a rambling word salad. Quite uncanny. We were worried for him, but also wanted him out the door safely, asap.
I did pair him up with the 2 meters tall / 95 kgs competition blue belt with a very mellow personality. So he wouldn't harm other beginners, and we could shut him down if he went overboard.
I'm not sure what triggered the actual collapse. We didn't let him spar, he just did some very basic cooperative drills. But I noticed he only wanted to do everything "his own" way, and was not responsive to any instruction. A big red flag was when he actually "talked back" to me, when I gave him some pointers. Basically saying: "No! This is how I do it, go away!"
I told him to either listen to me and participate in the class, or leave the mat. He apologized and said he wouldn't do it again. After that he became increasingly frantic, trying to turn all drills into full on sparring and being completely unresponsive.
Then we took him off the mat, and told him to just watch what the other people were doing and how they were conducting themselves. He broke down a little bit after that.
He couldn't articulate why he was so upset. Just a rambling word salad. Quite uncanny. We were worried for him, but also wanted him out the door safely, asap.
Edited 2 year(s) ago
TRBlack beltVerified
2 year(s) ago
That just goes to show how mental issues are getting more common in today's society.
Mental health problems are a bigger issue to solve and there is not much more you can do other than protect your own students and the guy from himself in a similar situation, which is what you did.
Mental health problems are a bigger issue to solve and there is not much more you can do other than protect your own students and the guy from himself in a similar situation, which is what you did.
Edited 2 year(s) ago
RDBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
2 year(s) ago
The guy was acting pretty erratic the moment he walked through the door, but we figured we'd allow him to try the class. I did pair him up with the 2 meters tall / 95 kgs competition blue belt with a very mellow personality. So he wouldn't harm other beginners, and we could shut him down if he went overboard. I'm not sure what triggered the actual collapse. We didn't let him spar, he just did some very basic cooperative drills. But I noticed he only wanted to do everything 'his own' way, and was not responsive to any instruction. A big red flag was when he actually 'talked back' to me, when I gave him some pointers. Basically saying: 'No! This is how I do it, go away!' I told him to either listen to me and participate in the class, or leave the mat. He apologized and said he wouldn't do it again. After that he became inceasingly frantic, trying to turn all drills into full on sparring and being completely unresponsive. Then we took him off the mat, and told him to just watch what the other people were doing and how they were conducting themselves. He broke down a little bit after that. He couldn't articulate why he was so upset. Just a rambling word salad. Quite uncanny. We were worried for him, but also wanted him out the door safely, asap.
Good call on your part at every step.
Hope the guy can get the help he needs.
Hope the guy can get the help he needs.
JABlack beltVerified
2 year(s) ago
The guy was acting pretty erratic the moment he walked through the door, but we figured we'd allow him to try the class. I did pair him up with the 2 meters tall / 95 kgs competition blue belt with a very mellow personality. So he wouldn't harm other beginners, and we could shut him down if he went overboard. I'm not sure what triggered the actual collapse. We didn't let him spar, he just did some very basic cooperative drills. But I noticed he only wanted to do everything 'his own' way, and was not responsive to any instruction. A big red flag was when he actually 'talked back' to me, when I gave him some pointers. Basically saying: 'No! This is how I do it, go away!' I told him to either listen to me and participate in the class, or leave the mat. He apologized and said he wouldn't do it again. After that he became inceasingly frantic, trying to turn all drills into full on sparring and being completely unresponsive. Then we took him off the mat, and told him to just watch what the other people were doing and how they were conducting themselves. He broke down a little bit after that. He couldn't articulate why he was so upset. Just a rambling word salad. Quite uncanny. We were worried for him, but also wanted him out the door safely, asap.
wow, that sounds somewhat scary, but you handled it with empathy and compassion, which is all anyone could ask for. It is a very unreal situation when you are in it. I've had children at Bullyproof seminars I've done/helped at breakdown due to being bullied but I had 1 be petrified of me and then blurt out "The man who hurt me has lots of tattoos as well"...
all I could do was apologize for making him upset, get another coach to attend to him find his parents, and let them know what he told me.
Thank you for sharing, this will help folks who haven't dealt with this at a school before.
all I could do was apologize for making him upset, get another coach to attend to him find his parents, and let them know what he told me.
Thank you for sharing, this will help folks who haven't dealt with this at a school before.
DBBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
2 year(s) ago
That's intense, John. Good call on distancing yourself from the situation and informing the parents!
And indeed, when you happen to get caught in someone else's trauma, it can feel very unreal. Especially when the situation involves a child reliving past experiences. I work in primary ed, so I can relate.
And indeed, when you happen to get caught in someone else's trauma, it can feel very unreal. Especially when the situation involves a child reliving past experiences. I work in primary ed, so I can relate.
JRBlack beltVerified
2 year(s) ago
There is a saying in working with clients that is especially true when you don't know them very well yet. Don't open up issues that you don't know you can work on. You usually have a very good intuition as to whether the other person is in a stable state or not. In your case, you could say that the guest was already too off track at the beginning of the class, what could help would be to make an appointment for a trial training with such a person. This way you wouldn't have to deal with the person at that moment and at the same time you wouldn't reject them completely. Depending on how confused the other person is, they might not come back. Of course, you're always smarter with hindsight and I think you reacted very confidently.
....
Maybe 6 or 7 years ago, two "volunteer janitors" from the gym where I was renting wanted to join the class. I was very skeptical but Not really to consequent about IT because they we're friends of the owner. I only let them train with each other because they were two very strange characters. During a cooperative armdrag drill, one of them dislocated the other's shoulder. Before I could call an ambulance, they slowed me down and ran off. IT would be normal for them. 👀
....
Maybe 6 or 7 years ago, two "volunteer janitors" from the gym where I was renting wanted to join the class. I was very skeptical but Not really to consequent about IT because they we're friends of the owner. I only let them train with each other because they were two very strange characters. During a cooperative armdrag drill, one of them dislocated the other's shoulder. Before I could call an ambulance, they slowed me down and ran off. IT would be normal for them. 👀
