Yesterday I competed in the IBJJF Toronto Open. It was my first comp at black belt. Also, it was my first IBJJF tournament. There was no divisional matches for me in Masters 5 light weight, so I decided to drop to Masters 4 middle weight. No big deal really. I was uncharacteristically nervous. I think it stemmed from not wanting to embarrass myself. I don't care if I win or lose, I just have a fear of peers questioning my validity at whatever rank. Anyway... it was a 3 man bracket so I got 2 matches. They were both seasoned blackbelts. Unfortunately neither match went my way, but like I said, I don't really care if I lose or win. I was happy with how I performed. No subs on me. Both points losses. I learned something valuable about competing. I lost the first match because I was impatient. I was having trouble passing, but doing well avoiding the sweep, but then I thought to myself, "just go". Oh I went, but I didn't have my grips secure and he got the sweep in to mount. 6 points and that's how it ended. The second match was a bit more dynamic. We were both up and down. He got a sweep and a pass. Then I got a sweep and went for a shotgun knee bar which I just missed. After that, looking back, I didn't go on the offense enough. For whatever reason I was content with playing defense. Lost on points.

Regardless, I was proud of myself for getting out there at 51 years old. My opponents were very nice people and we chatted quite a bit after. They both knew that it was my first tourney at black, and they had some nice things to say. Overall I had a lot of fun and didn't get hurt. Looking forward to the next one. "Default" is the sweetest word in the English language. :)