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Receiving stripes from not your coach
6 month(s) ago • 323 views • 11 replies
IRPurple beltVerified
6 month(s) ago
Hi all, looking for some perspective. I’m in the military reserve. I was activated last year and am currently overseas. My original BJJ coach knows I intend on returning once I am back home and is also aware that I am taking classes while deployed. One of the local BJJ affiliations out here offers classes on base. I pay for these classes. I left the United States with two stripes on my blue belt. The professor out here put two more stripes on my belt tonight. I'm honored, and have a good amount of imposter syndrome, but I'll be returning home in a few months. I'm pretty sure my coach would be cool with it, but we never talked about stripes or promotions while I’m away. It feels weird accepting rank from someone else. It also feels wrong to just remove them once I return home. I'm very tempted to just buy a whole new blue belt and just put two stripes on it. How would you feel as my coach when I return home? Am I overthinking this? Thank you for your perspective.
IRPurple beltVerified
CGBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
6 month(s) ago
Without referring to this specific situation, I think it's a pretty well established unwritten rule that you should not promote anyone else's student unless you have explicit permission from the primary coach.
JEBlack beltVerified
6 month(s) ago
Hi all, looking for some perspective. I’m in the military reserve. I was activated last year and am currently overseas. My original BJJ coach knows I intend on returning once I am back home and is also aware that I am taking classes while deployed. One of the local BJJ affiliations out here offers classes on base. I pay for these classes. I left the United States with two stripes on my blue belt. The professor out here put two more stripes on my belt tonight. I'm honored, and have a good amount of imposter syndrome, but I'll be returning home in a few months. I'm pretty sure my coach would be cool with it, but we never talked about stripes or promotions while I’m away. It feels weird accepting rank from someone else. It also feels wrong to just remove them once I return home. I'm very tempted to just buy a whole new blue belt and just put two stripes on it. How would you feel as my coach when I return home? Am I overthinking this? Thank you for your perspective.
Hi Isaac,
I have a lot of americans in my Gym and I asked them soon enough how to deal with that.
Some people move afterwards not back to the old gym cause they end up somewhere else.
It´s not your "fault" so just talk to your coach when you are back. What he thinks about that.
I can just confirm christians unwritten rule, thats why I personally talk to the guys how to deal with that.
I have a lot of americans in my Gym and I asked them soon enough how to deal with that.
Some people move afterwards not back to the old gym cause they end up somewhere else.
It´s not your "fault" so just talk to your coach when you are back. What he thinks about that.
I can just confirm christians unwritten rule, thats why I personally talk to the guys how to deal with that.
HHBlack beltVerifiedTaiwan
6 month(s) ago
I don’t envy your situation my brother , I believe transparency is the solution. Clear communication will resolve a lot of friction. I have personally witness a local purple belt getting kicked out of the team for receiving 1 stripe .
NBPurple beltVerified
6 month(s) ago
Dude, if you're paying a gym, that's your gym and the coaches there are your coaches, especially if you've been there long enough to earn 2 stripes.
If you get home and your old coach says those stripes aren't legit because they aren't 'his' stripes, that's a red flag. He should be proud that he has a student dedicated enough to seek out training anywhere in the world, and you should be proud of that too!
Also, judging by the picture, the guy that striped you up last night knows a thing or two about jiu jitsu. Pretty sure he knows what a 4 stripe Blue Belt looks like. If your old coach doesn't trust him, then old coach needs to get his ego in check.
Congratulations on your stripes. I appreciate and respect your dedication. Keep up the good work!
If you get home and your old coach says those stripes aren't legit because they aren't 'his' stripes, that's a red flag. He should be proud that he has a student dedicated enough to seek out training anywhere in the world, and you should be proud of that too!
Also, judging by the picture, the guy that striped you up last night knows a thing or two about jiu jitsu. Pretty sure he knows what a 4 stripe Blue Belt looks like. If your old coach doesn't trust him, then old coach needs to get his ego in check.
Congratulations on your stripes. I appreciate and respect your dedication. Keep up the good work!
MGBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
6 month(s) ago
I agree with Nathan. I've had several students return after spending time away and getting promoted by another school. In one case it was a jump promotion. I look at it as a complement to my high standards for promotion and reassurance that my students can stand up to anyone's else's scrutiny. I have also had new students come into my class with fairly high rankings which I don't consider appropriate for the level of expertise they demonstrate. But I let them keep their rank and try to train them to work up to it. On occasion some of those students have self-demoted, so when they get promoted back to their original level, they get a true feeling of accomplishment.
BMBlack belt 1st degreeVerified
6 month(s) ago
It´s not your "fault" so just talk to your coach when you are back. What he thinks about that.
This is the way.
BMBlack belt 1st degreeVerified
6 month(s) ago
From a promoting BB's perspective: I always try and have a straight-forward conversation with my students regarding promotions - who is promoting who? I know that not everyone is on the same page, and there is sometimes (many times) never a conversation regarding promotions, so there is a higher likelihood of misunderstandings.
Personally, if one of the people I had been ranking leaves for an extended period of time and receives rank of any type from a "legit" promoting instructor, this is something that is not only tolerated but expected.
At the same time, if I know one of my students is leaving my gym for an extended period of time and intends to come back, I try and have a conversation with them regarding "who is ranking who", and typically let the student make the call as it can sometimes be a difficult one.
Talking things out and having a conversation almost always produces better results and helps mitigate misunderstandings.
Personally, if one of the people I had been ranking leaves for an extended period of time and receives rank of any type from a "legit" promoting instructor, this is something that is not only tolerated but expected.
At the same time, if I know one of my students is leaving my gym for an extended period of time and intends to come back, I try and have a conversation with them regarding "who is ranking who", and typically let the student make the call as it can sometimes be a difficult one.
Talking things out and having a conversation almost always produces better results and helps mitigate misunderstandings.
JBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
6 month(s) ago
Without referring to this specific situation, I think it's a pretty well established unwritten rule that you should not promote anyone else's student unless you have explicit permission from the primary coach.
I agree, but should be enough to talk to the person who joins my academy, unless I already know their other teacher. They should make it clear who they want to receive future promotions from and who they want to compete for, but are in everything else treated like anyone else at the academy.
JCPurple beltVerified
5 month(s) ago
My first question is does the guy that gave you the stripes know he isn't your instructor? If that wasn't explicitly established when you started classes there he may not know he was striping someone else's student.
If someone in the military is TDY or PCS'd away from home for a while that should not count against you. As others have said, your real instructor should be happy that you have continued to train while TDY. It may be worth a phone call, email or DM to give them a heads up prior to your return to see how they feel about it, but if it's a problem that's a warning sign.
If someone in the military is TDY or PCS'd away from home for a while that should not count against you. As others have said, your real instructor should be happy that you have continued to train while TDY. It may be worth a phone call, email or DM to give them a heads up prior to your return to see how they feel about it, but if it's a problem that's a warning sign.
PBlack beltVerified
5 month(s) ago
First of all, I believe that your coach will be happy for you, mostly because you keep training and second because you are coming back.
Secondly I believe you must have an open conversation with your coach (the one you choose as coach), he knows your are overseas, and you are training, a graduation may happen, your coach need be the first to know it.
I train in academies one in Brazil, and the other in US. I feel part of both, being respected by both.
Secondly I believe you must have an open conversation with your coach (the one you choose as coach), he knows your are overseas, and you are training, a graduation may happen, your coach need be the first to know it.
I train in academies one in Brazil, and the other in US. I feel part of both, being respected by both.
