I was a white belt for 7 years and I’ve almost been purple for 10 yrs. I don’t think I’ll live long enough to make it to black belt. The question you should be asking is if you took belts out of the equation, do you enjoy training? If you do, keep showing up.

I was a white belt for 7 years and I’ve almost been purple for 10 yrs. I don’t think I’ll live long enough to make it to black belt. The question you should be asking is if you took belts out of the equation, do you enjoy training? If you do, keep showing up.

Hello, It seems that you are not really close with your actual bjj gym, if you're not happy with this situation, did you even think about just switching to another bjj school ? Did the coach act different with other students ? Unfortunaly bjj can create a huge among of frustration, but that's when you see the people who will earn the Black belt one day. Always keep moving forword

Feeling good in your gym is the most important thing, if you are not happy you will not learn as good as you can, everyone made his choice, but before quitting i recommand you to try a few month in another place. If the feeling is still the same then, maybe it comes from you...and it will be time to do some introspection

You need to drop the ego and focus on yourself. Everyone is on their own journey. Maybe once you stop comparing yourself to others you’ll get promoted.

Fair enough. That's probably the advice I'd give myself. I'll just take some time to BJJ gym-hop, do some wrestling, and try to find enjoyment in this again.

That’s the spirit! Wrestle and “test drive” some Jiu Jitsu gyms. Hopefully you’ll find a club you jive with!

It is difficult to move up the belts unless you commit to a gym, that's doesn't mean you cannot train at other gyms but you should have one long term regular instructor who can assess and grade you over time. I moved gyms several times over the years and it slowed my belt progression, but for me it didn't matter, I enjoyed the scenic route to black belt. That said, it would have been annoying to be a white belt for 3 years.

Yeah, that's true. You would think that promotions happen based on skill,

They do, it's just that different instructors define skill differently than others. For some it's just success on the mats. Others it's the ability to demonstrate techniques at a predetermined level. Others it's just checking boxes in an attendance book. And for some they require that you be of high moral character, which can take months or years to determine if they aren't seeing you regularly.

I think I will quit BJJ for a while. Or maybe I will just train one day a week at some random gym to keep me aware of moving with my back towards the floor. I have been a white belt for almost three years now, and I am not getting promoted. People always say belts do not matter. But I am getting tired of telling people I am still a white belt after three years, especially since I have already beaten blue belts in competition. For now, I will probably switch to freestyle wrestling. There is less favoritism there, and everyone works hard. There is no belt system, and no one complains about training too hard. Should I still log those hours in this app? I want them to count toward my learning journey in case I go back to BJJ later. Maybe this whole thing is a blessing in disguise. Training with wrestlers will push me to get better in a lot of ways.

I completely understand your frustration. Spending three years at white belt while beating blue belts in competition is incredibly tough on the ego, and it makes total sense that you are feeling burned out and overlooked. However, before you jump headfirst into freestyle wrestling to escape favoritism or lazy training partners, I want to offer a gentle reality check. My daughter was a nationally ranked freestyle wrestler, competed for Cadet Team USA at the Pan American Championships, attended US Olympic Training camps, and coached at the university level. From a lifetime of being immersed in high-level wrestling, I can tell you firsthand: wrestling is absolutely not exempt from favoritism, and you will find lazy people there just like in any other sport. Every sport has its good and bad environments. If you want to do wrestling as a supplement to push your training, definitely do it! But if you love Jiu-Jitsu, don't let this situation make you run away from a difficult hurdle just because you aren't getting the belt. Instead, consider a few other paths: Evaluate your gym: If there is a personality clash or toxic environment, this specific school might just not be a good fit for you. Starting over at a new gym is hard, but finding a culture that fits you is worth it. Talk to your professor: Have a direct, humble conversation. Don't ask when you will get promoted. Instead, ask: "Hey coach, I’ve been a white belt for three years now. I'm wondering what specific things I NEED TO WORK ON to get my game to the next level?" Approaching it as a desire to improve always goes over better. Shift your mindset: Try to stop focusing on the belt color. At the end of the day, just focus on being better than you were the class before. Aim to learn one new thing or execute a move better than you did the previous session. If I had given up after three years at any belt, I don't know where I'd be. Grit it out, find a school that fits you if this one doesn't, and keep training.

Instead, consider a few other paths: Evaluate your gym: If there is a personality clash or toxic environment, this specific school might just not be a good fit for you. Starting over at a new gym is hard, but finding a culture that fits you is worth it. Talk to your professor: Have a direct, humble conversation. Don't ask when you will get promoted. Instead, ask: "Hey coach, I’ve been a white belt for three years now. I'm wondering what specific things I NEED TO WORK ON to get my game to the next level?" Approaching it as a desire to improve always goes over better.

As others said: it seems you've got more of an issue with the gym per se rather than with BJJ. In my gym we've got our head coach and two main coaches under him (black belts). Apart from them we've got a couple of brown belts that cover them if one can't attend a class due to personal issues, and one of those brown belts also gives regular classes on Friday with more emphasis on throws as he's a well known Judo practitioner and helps keep things spicier when on your two feet. Why do I say all of this? Basically because each coach/instructor/callemwhatyouwant is completely different to the other, both in style and personality. So that helps you pick your "main coach" according to your style and personality, and then attend to other classes whenever you feel like it to get some other vibes and keep things interesting. I've got my "favourites" and my least proffered coaches for different reasons, and if I would to be forced to stick to one of the least favourite ones I truly think I might be more erratic (or at least less consistent) in my training. If I were you I'd try some other gym to see if you like the vibes in which ever one you have around and, if you do, change. Other than that I'd also give wrestling a go, but not as a substitute but rather as something to broaden your game and keep things interesting. Hope that helps. Good luck!

Thanks for taking the time to write this. The wrestling perspective and coach reframe are good advice. Epictetus said to focus on what's up to us, the training, not what isn't, the belt decision made by an instructor I only see one month every four months. I will take the time to compete no-gi at blue belt while staying white, testing myself with a little surprise for others over the next year.

It is a good discussion, Took me years to I get my Blue Belt, I was asking my Current professor (Rolles Gracie) about how We should graduate the students from white to Blue Belt, He has that nowadays we have a system a methodology, We need to trust it. So after the student achieve the time and the quantity needed of class, we have to promote them. Firstly because if their level are bellow, it is our mistake not their. Also we need to understand that we have different levels of each belt, If you are studying a subject, you can pass it with an A or a C. And there are those who pass with an A++. If our Student is a D, we need to pay more attention on them, spending more time. So, sometimes if you are not graduating, if is more up to the professor than yourself.

I of course can never know your exact situation, but 3 years at white belt while showing up intermittently like this does not sound that unusual or due to favouritism to me. If there's no real system in place to track attendance or progress of students it's not unusual that you're simply sort of forgotten. (Not saying this is right, just that it's not unusual) Have you talked to your coaches themselves about this situation? Asking them what they think you need to do to reach blue belt? (Asking this question in a normal and open environment should not be a problem, if it is, it's good to find out sooner than later). It's clearly affecting your enjoyment of bjj and that is the most important part. (Not arguing people should be promoted for this, but the uncertainty should be taken away at least) You say you compete, is there a chance they're not promoting you because they know you might want to compete in international ibbjf white belt competitions?

Stop when its stops being fun. Life is short, find what makes you happy.