Honestly i would not wish it on another coach.. I always find myself feeling like I somehow failed in these type of situations

I few weeks ago I mentioned in other threads (?) that as BJJ/Martial Arts coaches, unless trained otherwise, we are not equipped or have the tools to provide therapy or psych support for members walking into the gym. If you can't then you can't. The car mechanic isn't going to provide F1 driving performance so feeling bad about this situation is unfair on yourself. Let it go or if you feel the need then seek out some training to provide counseling or psych support. That will have you diving down another rabbit hole.