Of course, if we took Tatu,

and sealed him in a box with a flask of poison

that will shatter if an internal geiger counter detects radioactive decay.

along with a radioactive source,

into that small sealed box,

we might find that Tatu simultaneously both exists and does not exist,

unless we have some way to look at Tatu while locked in the box,

in which case we might find that Tatu either exists or does not exist.

I figured out why we think he does not exist. He is actually Snake Plissken who escaped New York and Los Angeles. I suspect he is stuck in some other city and currently trying to escape again.

This is an extremely essential discussion, keep it up!! :D

Indeed, for those who do not follow Finnish news very closely, the authorities are in fact today sealing off the southern Uusimaa region from the rest of the country, with hundreds of police officers and military conscripts monitoring the borders. (And this is where Helsinki, and me, are located... and to the best of my knowledge, our president too.)

Sounds pretty serious Tatu. Hope you and your family are well.

We are well! Thanks for your concern.

Everything needed is within the containment area. I'm mostly worried about the micro-explosives I've been injected with that will rupture my arteries within 22 hours.

If Finland doesn't exist and you don't exist, the explosives surely don't exist either. Your non existence is safe.

Tatu was assigned to control entry into the restricted zone.

Tatu assigned all things moving in and out into one of two rooms.

He only allowed fast moving particles into one room,

and he only allowed slow moving particles into the other room.

Still, Tatu's existence remains paradoxical.

For the sake of of argument,

let us assume that there are finitely many Tatu's represented by prime numbers.

Now we add 1 to this

and due to simple arithmetic, there must be a Tatu that divides both the set of Tatu's +1 and the product of the Tatu's.

But, since none of those Tatu's, being prime numbers, divide by 1,

we know by contradiction, that our original statement was false.

Therefore, there are infinitely many Tatu's.

However, as we discovered earlier,

Tatu's when observed, either exist or they do not,

and when unobserved, Tatu's may simultaneously exist and not exist.

Therefore, when unobserved, Tatu still does not exist.

Put another way, if Tatu practices ukemi,

and no one is around to hear him slap the mat,

Tatu both exists, and does not exist.

Therefore, it is still fair to claim that Tatu does not exist,

Even if he simultaneously exists,

so long as no one is observing Tatu.

Mind = blown.

One day Tatu grew tired of all the posts on Beltchecker.com questioning his existence.

So he went to see Louhi, the old crone.

And he asked Louhi, "you are old and know many things. Do I exist, or not?"

To which, Louhi replied, "you are as real as I am."

Tatu thought about that for a minute, and then objected, "but you are a mythological figure, how can I even be talking to you?"

To which Louhi told him, "when enough people on Beltchecker began to doubt your existence, and others began to believe in you, you gained the ability to see and hear all of the rest of us in the same state."

This made Tatu sad.

Seeing that Tatu might be ready to make a bargain, Louhi said:

"go see Ilmarinen, and ask him to take a magic razor from the Sampo.
If for one year, you shave the face of all men who do not shave their own face,
but only the men who do not shave their own face,
then by the magic of the Sampo, you will exist.
But if you fail in this task, then will you cease to exist, and you will be my imaginary slave forever."

Tatu found this irritating, because he did not really believe in this business to begin with, but he did not want to seem afraid in front of this old woman, so agreed.

Tatu followed Louhi's instructions, and sought out Ilmarinen, and Ilmarinen gave Tatu that magic razor from the Sampo.

For the next year, the magic of the razor let Tatu be in many places at the same time, shaving the face of all the men in the world who did not shave their own face, and Tatu was careful to only shave the faces of the men who did not shave their own face.

After a year, he proudly presented himself to Louhi, and said, "Ha! Grandmother, I have completed the task you laid before me, and shaved all the men who do not shave their own face, and only the men who do not shave their own face, now give me my reward, as you promised, and make me real."

At which point, Louhi looked up from her cauldron, with a smile on her face, and a dark hunger in her eyes, and said:

"Why Tatu, what a long beard you have. I thought you said that you had shaved the face of all men who did not shave their own face, have you not shaved your own?"

And Tatu replied, "but I can only shave the face of the men who do not shave their own face, if I shaved my own face, then I could not shave my own face!"

And Tatu promptly vanished in puff of logic, and the magic of the Sampo.

And Louhi laughed, and the soup she was making seemed to have the face of Tatu reflected in it, crying out for freedom, before Louhi lifted the cauldron and drank it all in one gulp.

That was a great read!

Have you actually read their national epic?

Anyway, I was seriously impressed AND entertained by your fable :)

I have only the following tale to add.

I DID have many agreeable meals in Estonia, with an entity CLAIMING to be Tatu. We toasted each other, and praised the chef, as we ruminated on life, love, regret...

That being said. I did not check his id, nor his pulse. He might have been an imposter, or worse, a super advanced Westworld like A.I., created solely to be a good dinner companion...

Worst thing about this: with the lockdown, it's impossible to visit this so called "Finland" and see it with my own eyes.

We are stuck in purgatory.

Shroedinger's Tatu?

Now, while Louhi the old crone slept, she dreamed.

And while she dreamed, all of the souls she had consumed,

could, if they were clever,

escape back into the mortal world to cause trouble,

and Tatu was no exception.

So while Louhi was sleeping and dreaming,

Tatu escaped back into the mortal realm.

Having heard Louhi utter spells and magic over her cauldron many times,

Tatu stood over Louhi's caldron,

and scryed into the past.

And there he saw his past self,

being Tatu,

whom no one was sure really existed or not, even Tatu himself,

About to enter Louhi's domain.

And he cried out, "Tatu, Tatu, don't make a bargain with Louhi. You'll only lose."

And Tatu the prior asked, "Who are you, to give me this advice?"

And Tatu the later said, "I am you, and I know the future of how things turn out for you."

And Tatu the prior thought about this for a minute, and said, "but if I follow your advice, and avoid this outcome, doesn't this mean that you won't exist to give me this advice?"

And Tatu the later said, "Shit...."

And promptly vanished in a puff of logic.

And Tatu the prior shook his head, and couldn't remember the conversation he just had,

and remembered that he had come to ask the advice of Louhi, the wise old crone,

about what do about these posts on Beltcheckers that claimed that he did not exist.

And Tatu paused, feeling as if he should remember something important.

Shaking his head,

He thought to himself, I am about to enter Louhi's place.

And he wondered again, about his own existence.

Tatu thought to himself, "for every place, or thing that exists in the universe, there must be a place or thing that contains that place or thing."

That seemed easy enough to understand, and Tatu smiled, and was about to proceed.

But then he thought, "but what about the place that holds that place, and the place that holds that place" and so forth,

And Tatu realized that ultimately that condition could not possibly exist, because it never ended,

and forgot to not observe himself, which meant that in that moment,

Tatu too, did not exist.

And Tatu promptly disappeared in a puff of logic,

and the collective magic of all those who believe Tatu does, and does did not exist.

And Louhi smiled as she dreamt, because she had consumed another Tatu.

Classic

Amazing! :D

We're all in the matrix :(

Tatu was telling Jorgen, "Of course I exist, I competed in the European IBJJF tournament in Lisbon two months ago".

Timmy from the IBJJF, upon hearing this asked, "Tatu, aren't you a member of BJJ Globetrotters?"

To which Tatu replied, "yes, of course."

Timmy : "Hold my beer...there, now none of you exist."

Hey I think you've all convinced Tatu he does not exist because I haven't seen him on here in a few days.

You have to say his name three times, or so the stories go...

Tatu Tatu Tatu

Wait.... is there supposed be mirror or something?

When Finland closed its borders,

I don't think the rest of you realized what that meant-

Now, nobody will be crossing the Finish Line...

BTW! There was a well-known Russian band called t.A.T.u. COINCIDENCE? I think not!

https://en.wikipedia.org/[...]ki/T.A.T.u.

https://www.youtube.com/w[...]F-JfWqMG6g

Jorgen,

Provide proof of life for the Tatu.

So that the rest of us do not have to feel guilty,

that by pointing out that Finn's may not exist,

and therefore Tatu might not exist,

and in fact, none of us, with any certainty exist,

that the top knotted, yuppie, Finnish, purple belt still does exist....

Dave Gonzalez, is abusing me with private memes,

That I caused the poor young man to wink out of existence.

Which was never the point.

Of course, the point was, Tatu might not exist,

and the rest of us probably don't, either...

Incredible

Tatu lives!

(But does not exist).