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Falling out with instructor? Still put their name in your promotion history
5 year(s) ago • 2973 views • 33 replies
DBBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
La gente,
I've seen this happen a few times.
Do NOT leave your prior promotion history blank, if you have fallen out with an earlier instructor & changed teams or whatnot.
For transparency's sake. Add their names, dates or relevant photos. And add a sentence or two describing the situation.
"I was promoted by XXXX on this date XXXX. We had a falling out, and I am no longer affiliated with him"
This keeps potential f#ckery at bay.
I've seen this happen a few times.
Do NOT leave your prior promotion history blank, if you have fallen out with an earlier instructor & changed teams or whatnot.
For transparency's sake. Add their names, dates or relevant photos. And add a sentence or two describing the situation.
"I was promoted by XXXX on this date XXXX. We had a falling out, and I am no longer affiliated with him"
This keeps potential f#ckery at bay.
![Slideyfoot [jun]](userimg/5e25cf311adfd.jpg){kind=small}
SJBlack belt 1st degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
Yep, agreed. People may fall out, but belts are objective. A piece of cloth doesn't care if you no longer like the person who gave it to you, and is also much more important to your rank credibility than feelings about old instructors.
RDBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
Agreed! Incomplete profiles should not even be open for voting till they are filled out.
DBlack beltVerified
5 year(s) ago
We could statistically build a proper Team Creonte based on this data too :P
SCBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
We could statistically build a proper Team Creonte based on this data too :P
That would be quite the motley crew lol
AMBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
Hey it happens to the best of us!
CMBlack belt 2nd degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
Every one of my competitors around me could be on that team. Lol
CGBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
We could statistically build a proper Team Creonte based on this data too :P
I did at some point consider adding an affiliation fee to each promotion record in order to calculate statistics on this. Would be fun to see how many people leave their affiliation/instructor after black belt (/2nd degree) promotion :D
CCBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
Agreed! If nothing else its about simple respect to your instructor, regardless of the circumstances. That level of respect is at least owed to our individual lineage and our collective art.
TSBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
I had a rough split from my first black Belt instructor. However, I respect the man for the time and knowledge he gave to me. His reputation is solid enough for my ranks through him to stand.
Our history drives us to our present... no need in being angry or ashamed you switched academies.
Our history drives us to our present... no need in being angry or ashamed you switched academies.
SJBlack belt 1st degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
I had a rough split from my first black Belt instructor. However, I respect the man for the time and knowledge he gave to me. His reputation is solid enough for my ranks through him to stand. Our history drives us to our present... no need in being angry or ashamed you switched academies.
Cool to see you on here! Yeah, I can remember various old interviews with you from back in the day. Good that you've reached a point now where that's in the past and (hopefully) no longer impacting on your present/future. :)
DBBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
Tim!
Your legdrag instructional was awesome!
Leg staple FTW!
Your legdrag instructional was awesome!
Leg staple FTW!
PDBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
I believe you should acknowledge the people who promoted you as it is part of your journey.. We all have splits
ARBlack beltVerified
5 year(s) ago
I believe you should acknowledge the people who promoted you as it is part of your journey.. We all have splits
Same. Even if you left with bad feelings, the old instructor must have done something right to keep you interested. :)
JPBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
La gente, I've seen this happen a few times. Do NOT leave your prior promotion history blank, if you have fallen out with an earlier instructor & changed teams or whatnot. For transparency's sake. Add their names, dates or relevant photos. And add a sentence or two describing the situation. 'I was promoted by XXXX on this date XXXX. We had a falling out, and I am no longer affiliated with him' This keeps potential f#ckery at bay.
Completely agree! I did! Why does anyone feel that they have to leave it blank? Who knows!
EDBlack beltVerified
5 year(s) ago
100% agree
RBlack belt 1st degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
I’ve moved gyms out of necessity and I’ve had an instructor leave causing me to change affiliations. Still show respect to those that have you knowledge at that chapter of your development.
Agreed.
Agreed.
KRBlack beltVerified
5 year(s) ago
I don’t see how a falling out with the instructor changes the facts. You put down the dates and rank you obtained with that instructor and I personally leave it at that. I’ve trained at a few different places and have no drama with it. Everyone’s path is different and they move on for different reasons. I know better but the instructor should not debate whether you trained with them and reached a rank with them through legitimate work. If they do they are petty as hell and others who were there can provide credibility to your claims.
ELBlack belt 1st degreePending
5 year(s) ago
Ive had a rough split with the instructor who gave me my purple, he s still there.
The instructor that gave me my blue, we recently had an argument avout c19 and havent spoken since lol
They are always going to be the ones who gave me these belts, regardless if i agree with them or not.
The instructor that gave me my blue, we recently had an argument avout c19 and havent spoken since lol
They are always going to be the ones who gave me these belts, regardless if i agree with them or not.
TSBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
Tim! Your legdrag instructional was awesome! Leg staple FTW!
Excellent! Glad you like it! Keep up your good work!
TSBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
5 year(s) ago
Yep, agreed. People may fall out, but belts are objective. A piece of cloth doesn't care if you no longer like the person who gave it to you, and is also much more important to your rank credibility than feelings about old instructors.
History! The “present me” is glad that the “past me” was considering the “future me” when looking at the situation. I am truly blessed.
RDBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
4 year(s) ago
On the flip side, instructors should also own up to the people they promoted even after a falling out.
If the person turned out to be a piece of garbage after the fact the instructor is not at fault.
They should still acknowledge their promotion and post a disclaimer to the effect.
Happened to me once. Promoted a guy who turned out to be a problematic human.
Got rid of him but that does not change the fact that I promoted him.
Just my 2 cents
Any thoughts?
If the person turned out to be a piece of garbage after the fact the instructor is not at fault.
They should still acknowledge their promotion and post a disclaimer to the effect.
Happened to me once. Promoted a guy who turned out to be a problematic human.
Got rid of him but that does not change the fact that I promoted him.
Just my 2 cents
Any thoughts?
Edited 4 year(s) ago
VCBlack belt 3rd degreeVerified
4 year(s) ago
On the flip side, instructors should also own up to the people they promoted even after a falling out. If the person turned out to be a piece of garbage after the fact the instructor is not at fault. They should still acknowledge their promotion and post a disclaimer to the effect. Happened to me once. Promoted a guy who turned out to be a problematic human. Got rid of him but that does not change the fact that I promoted him. Just my 2 cents Any thoughts?
This is one of the reasons why I'm super cautious about promoting anyone. Can't base it purely only their skills but also their energy/presence in the world. Some are just good at disguising but that ultimately can't be blamed on the promoting coach
SZBlack belt 1st degreeVerified
4 year(s) ago
On the flip side, instructors should also own up to the people they promoted even after a falling out. If the person turned out to be a piece of garbage after the fact the instructor is not at fault. They should still acknowledge their promotion and post a disclaimer to the effect. Happened to me once. Promoted a guy who turned out to be a problematic human. Got rid of him but that does not change the fact that I promoted him. Just my 2 cents Any thoughts?
100% Agree. It goes both ways.
MBlack beltVerified
4 year(s) ago
If it has been part a of the journey it should be acknowledged.
RDBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
4 year(s) ago
Saw another profile today that was verified previously get unverified.
Checked to see and the former promoting instructor now "rejected" said student.
I understand having a falling out but after you promote someone you can't just take it back because you are pissed at them or whatever offense.
If you need to distance yourself that is one thing but to plain out deny a promotion you gave is just ridiculous.
If they committed some kind of offense, it is not a reflection of you. A simple disclaimer would take care of that issue.
Checked to see and the former promoting instructor now "rejected" said student.
I understand having a falling out but after you promote someone you can't just take it back because you are pissed at them or whatever offense.
If you need to distance yourself that is one thing but to plain out deny a promotion you gave is just ridiculous.
If they committed some kind of offense, it is not a reflection of you. A simple disclaimer would take care of that issue.
Edited 4 year(s) ago
RDBlack belt 4th degreeVerified
4 year(s) ago
Question for Instructors and Academy owners.
When someone leaves your academy to train somewhere else or likes to train at other academies while continuing in yours as a paying member, do you consider them a traitor?
Martial Arts is the only activity where customers are vilified for seeking the same product (bjj) elsewhere.
When someone leaves your academy to train somewhere else or likes to train at other academies while continuing in yours as a paying member, do you consider them a traitor?
Martial Arts is the only activity where customers are vilified for seeking the same product (bjj) elsewhere.
DBlack beltVerified
4 year(s) ago
Question for Instructors and Academy owners. When someone leaves your academy to train somewhere else or likes to train at other academies while continuing in yours as a paying member, do you consider them a traitor? Martial Arts is the only activity where customers are vilified for seeking the same product (bjj) elsewhere.
When they completely leave for another instructor, I won't lie, it can hurt (depending on how long they were there). Yeah yeah, I know it's just a business, but a lot of times it's losing a friend.
BMBlack belt 1st degreeVerified
4 year(s) ago
Question for Instructors and Academy owners. When someone leaves your academy to train somewhere else or likes to train at other academies while continuing in yours as a paying member, do you consider them a traitor? Martial Arts is the only activity where customers are vilified for seeking the same product (bjj) elsewhere.
No. We have to remember that these are paying customers, and most of us don't live in feudal Japan or the rough streets of 1970's Brazil (where I think most of these ideas stem from).
BMBlack belt 1st degreeVerified
4 year(s) ago
When they completely leave for another instructor, I won't lie, it can hurt (depending on how long they were there). Yeah yeah, I know it's just a business, but a lot of times it's losing a friend.
I feel the same things, for sure, but I think that this is the emotional reaction we instructors have toward an antiquated, hopefully dying tradition that was passed down to us as we came up through the ranks.
I think it helps to be as logical and rational as possible when viewing our relationships with our students. I think it's important to remind ourselves that when a student leaves your gym, most of the time it's a good thing for everybody. If they feel pressured to stick around your gym because of "loyalty", then many times this can lead to regrets, or can otherwise leave a bad taste in their mouths about you or their gym. That's not good for anyone.
On the other side of the coin there is the gym owner with a student who might not help contribute to the atmosphere/vibe of your gym, and having a sad, mopey student around might affect everyone else. When a student leaves your gym, I think it's a good thing for everybody, most of the time. I don't want anybody training at MY gym who, deep down, doesn't want to be there or would otherwise want to be somewhere else.
I think we, as instructors get too caught up in the idea of, "I helped this student tie their belt for the first time! I taught them how to shrimp and was there when they won their first competition!". While this is true, and you might not help what you FEEL, you also have to remember that this person paid you hundreds, if not thousands of dollars over time for you to help them tie their belt, teach them how to shrimp, and to coach them through their first competition win.
I think it helps to be as logical and rational as possible when viewing our relationships with our students. I think it's important to remind ourselves that when a student leaves your gym, most of the time it's a good thing for everybody. If they feel pressured to stick around your gym because of "loyalty", then many times this can lead to regrets, or can otherwise leave a bad taste in their mouths about you or their gym. That's not good for anyone.
On the other side of the coin there is the gym owner with a student who might not help contribute to the atmosphere/vibe of your gym, and having a sad, mopey student around might affect everyone else. When a student leaves your gym, I think it's a good thing for everybody, most of the time. I don't want anybody training at MY gym who, deep down, doesn't want to be there or would otherwise want to be somewhere else.
I think we, as instructors get too caught up in the idea of, "I helped this student tie their belt for the first time! I taught them how to shrimp and was there when they won their first competition!". While this is true, and you might not help what you FEEL, you also have to remember that this person paid you hundreds, if not thousands of dollars over time for you to help them tie their belt, teach them how to shrimp, and to coach them through their first competition win.
